Nature

Former prime minister David Cameron says placing his genitals in the mouth of a severed pigs head has 'turned out less badly than I first thought' He used the words "mistake, not a disaster" in...

It transpires that North Sea Oil Revenues now contribute £60Million to the Scottish revenue pot, down from almost £13Billion a couple of years ago because you now sell a barrel of North Sea Oil...

A Balmoral based deer has spoken out after being run down by the heir to the British throne. Dougal Hornhead spoke to the Herald after seeking veterinary care. "Aye, I wiz jist out for a run...

The BBC has issued an apology after leaked footage of tonight's 'Blue Planet II' revealed that NONE of the animals featured will be wearing a Remembrance Day poppy.  The 'Coral Reefs' episode due to be aired this...

Millions of Britons were given an early taste of the joys of springtime over the weekend, after the unseasonable February warmth prompted the first encounter of a year with an utter bastard of a...

Two Rochdale pigeons have tonight, for the fourth night in a row, spent 45 minutes teaching Rochdale couple Stephen and Mary King the art of love. The pigeons, who recently moved into a tree across from...

A genocidal bastard from Lancashire has demanded that he has his tummy tickled this morning. The mass murderer called Mr Wiggles made the request this morning after spending the night murdering babies and dismembering their...

Noted elderly naturist David Attenborough was cock-a-hoop yesterday when he announced the discovery of the first new species of great ape for many years. Mr Attenborough announced "We have certainly discovered a new great ape....

On the 11th of February, the Animal Adventure Park in Harpursville, New York began a live feed from the inside of a Giraffe pen. 'April' the 15 year old Giraffe was believed to be in the...

Researchers have discovered that there is now so much plastic in the worlds oceans that whales have started to hold Tupperware parties. Professor Frederick Seddon of Rochdale College said, "It's almost 6 decades since suburban women...

An idiot died in an avalanche of Karma in the town of Colle delle Oche near Turin, Italy yesterday. Veterinarian Luciano Ponzetto, who split his time between overcharging old ladies for placebo treatments on handbag...

At least three dickheads have been mauled to death and eaten by some lovely lions after breaking into a wildlife reserve in South Africa. The dickheads entered the Sibuya Game Reserve armed with a rifle,...

In an emotional statement to the world's press meant to deflect allegations he has a penchant for baby antelope, Kevin the Lion has come out as being openly gay. This has shocked nobody in...

The three in front are old & sick, they walk in front to set the pace of the running group lest they get left behind. There were five in the front group but sadly...

We to need press on with the solution,  said Theressa May when questioned before all the MP's went on their jollies, leaving the country to run better by itself. "Et jus' don't werk" said...