Researchers have discovered that there is now so much plastic in the worlds oceans that whales have started to hold Tupperware parties.

Professor Frederick Seddon of Rochdale College said, “It’s almost 6 decades since suburban women would get together and discuss the best way to store their husband’s dinner. Now whales have evolved the complex interactions necessary to hold Tupperware parties of their own. This is an exciting development.”

Whale Nigel Diver said, “I wasn’t sure at first when my wife told me she wanted to host a Tupperware party. After all, when you come in from a hard day eating krill you’re not too sure you want to have a bunch of whales come round to discuss the best way to store it. But she’s been bringing in a 7 figure salary since she started. I’ll be able to afford to retire and live off her soon.”

Whale Nora told us, “It’s been great to meet new people. Before I was in a rut but when I started selling Tupperware my social life suddenly expanded. Now I’m a regional sales rep helping other whales to sell Tupperware.”

Whilst some whales weren’t keen at first as they thought sitting around and discussing the best way to store their husband’s dinner was a bit dated much of that has gone now. Nora said, “Our parties often start with a couple of Gin’s and a chat about Love Pod. Once everyone’s had a few they’re usually just buying loads of Tupperware. Although, you do have to be careful. I went to a prty last week, sold nothing and just though up in a Tupperware box.”

We asked Nora what she was storing in her Tupperware and she said “Plastic bags and my memories of ice bergs.”

Fact checked by Snopes; Plagiarised by Andrew Neil; Nancy Sinatra's favourite Rochdale satirist; sued by Chris Froome and winner of the 1922 Nobel Prize for Chemistry.* *Not all of these necessarily true.