It’s Official. Report Confirms James Corden Is Not Funny

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The showbiz world is in shock today as it was announced that James Corden is not funny. Following inappropriate ‘jokes’ made by Corden about pervert Harvey Weinstein at a charity gala in Hollywood, the...

Thousands gather in London to watch fireworks through their phones

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Scores of New Year's Eve partygoers descended on London last night to watch the spectacular fireworks display through their smartphones. Over a hundred thousand people stood next to each other with their devices held aloft...

Pretentious local “hadn’t noticed” new Doctor Who Was female

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In the UK we all know and love the kids TV show Doctor Who, because that's what we're told to do by the BBC. On Sunday it was revealed, as long-rumoured, that the 13th...

The Beckhams ditch L.A for glorious Rochdale

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Today the Herald can exclusively reveal the jaw dropping news that the world's biggest star, glamour model, fashion icon, tireless charity worker and one of the finest footballers of his generation David Beckham (and...

Blockbuster Video returns to Rochdale high street in post EU Britain

There were scenes of creaky jubilation on Rochdale's decaying high street as crowds celebrated the return of retail giant Blockbuster. Rochdale's elderly population had turned out en masse at the voting booths to vote against...

This week already pissed off with itself and planning a holiday

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Millions of Microsoft outlook users are about to receive an unexpected update in their calendars. The Rochdale Herald has just received an email from an anonymous address which  but it appears to have been sent...

Climate crisis totally worth it if it stops Coldplay touring, says Greta Thunberg

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Greta Thunberg has announced that complete environmental collapse will be worth it now that Coldplay have announced they will stop touring to help save the planet. Thunberg appeared on Friday in a brand new Range...

Stupid Rochdale man flattered by clickbait

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Exceptionally dim Rochdale man Brian Kershaw was yesterday super excited after answering nearly all of the questions correctly in an online quiz. Before he clicked on the quiz, Mr Kershaw had been assured that 99%...

‘Wiccan Masterchef’ and ‘The Sharifs Are Coming’ to head BBC’s new cultural diversity programming

Bosses at the BBC are poised to announce a list of new TV shows to better reflect the religious views of it's viewers. As announced recently, the BBC has been tasked by it's controllers...

All Future Covers Of David Bowie Hit To Be Recorded As Life On Titan

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The David Bowie hit Life On Mars is getting a slight posthumous makeover, it would appear. In response to NASA’s announcement about the possibility of life on one of Saturn’s moons, the Bowie estate have...

Mariah Carey records shock cover of Dead Kennedy’s ‘Nazi Punks Fuck Off’ in support...

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Born again Christian pop singer and self styled "voice of the MTV generation" Mariah Carey, has sent shock waves through tin pan alley with the announcement that she has recorded a cover of the...

Parents across the country prepare to encourage their kids to defy them

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Yes, it's that time of the year again, the nights are drawing in, there's a chill in the air and knob heads can't wait two hours until it goes dark before letting off their...

Singer-songwriter Phil Collins to release Death Metal album

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Phil Collins is set to release an album of previously unheard material made up of songs classified as being from the extreme subgenre of heavy metal music. The Grammy award winning artist confirmed that...

Phil Collins says 80s were his Coldplay years

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Phil Collins has been telling the Saga trade magazine, Zimmer how he sees the 1980's as his Coldplay years. Collins told the magazine, "Look, when I was in Genesis it was good. There was some...

Local Entrepreneur Makes Big Hit On Dragon’s Den

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Local businessman Vinnie 'Fingers' McPherson entered the big league in the world of high finance today when his appearance on TV's popular Dragon's Den show took him from pitch to rich. "I love doing this show" a...

Nigel Farage leaves LBC for remake of Howards’ Way; Nigels’ Way

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Nigel Farage has left LBC and got a job on a new remake of Howards' Way called, Nigels' Way. Producer Bill Board told us, "Nigel plays Nigel, a man who has experienced 2 redundancies in...
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