Darth Vader Faces CSA Action for Non Payment of Child Support
Darth Vader is facing a catastrophic attachment to earnings over claims of non-payment of child support.
The alleged offense occurred a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away.
However, CSA officials pounced when Mr...
God Issues Apology For 2016 Celebrity Cull
In an official statement released this afternoon, God has apologised for the ongoing massacre of talent this year, blaming it on recent pressure to beef up Heaven’s on-site entertainment.
The statement, published on the Vatican...
Robbie Williams comes undone at World Cup opening ceremony
Robbie Williams finds himself in trouble after giving the finger to fans at World Cup opening ceremony after repeatedly being asked to sing 'This Charming Man' by local fans.
Former fat dancer from Take That...
U2 Twatty Helps Unfunny Fatty
Following squeaking chubbalub unfunnyman James Corden's desperately misjudged and humourless attempts at making light of sexual assault, professional shortarsed twat and frontman of puzzlingy successful pop group, The U2s - Bonio - has offered...
Tony the Tiger calls out Jamie Oliver after cereal box slur
Celebrity spotters and various other people with naff all better going on in their lives were feverishly screaming over rumours of a celebrity feud reaching breaking point this morning.
The feud erupted after it emerged...
Julian Assange plans quiet Christmas at home
Julian Assange has confirmed that he will be having a quiet Christmas at home this year.
In a telephone call Mr Assange told us, "It's been a tiring year. In the summer I stood...
Happy Ed Balls Day
You know that feeling: the kids rush into your room at some ungodly morning hour and excitedly demand to know, “Has he been? Has he? Has he been?”
Yes, once again it's Ed Balls day!
It's...
John Noakes to be buried in coffin he made earlier
The late John Noakes, it has been revealed, made his own coffin in preparation for his death. Exactly when he did this is not known, it’s only known that he made it earlier.
It’s well...
Purrverted Cliff Richard raped my cat
A woman has come forward claiming Sir Cliff Richard raped her cat while staying at her family home in Heywood.
The fresh accusations will come as a blow to the worn-out pop legend, who was only...
Harvey Weinstein’s office pot plant to release cover of Louis Armstrong’s Nobody Knows The...
Harvey Weinstein’s office pot plant, a large Ficus Lyrata Bambino, is to going to release a seven inch cover of the 1921 classic “Nobody Knows The Trouble I’ve Seen”.
The single will also a feature...
2016 to do 3 more ‘meh’ deaths before big ‘omfg’ finale on the 31st...
Just before everyone's new favourite actress Carrie Fisher died, 2016 did a couple of 'aw, but they had a good innings' deaths in a trend that's continued throughout the year.
Before that, 2016 brutally murdered...
Trump threatens military action against ‘rocket man’
President Trump used his recent address to the UN Security Council to threaten ‘rocket man’ Sir Elton John, who he accuses of attempting to develop nuclear weapons which could reach the mainland United States....
Santa under pressure to explain unfair listing system
The popular dispenser of Christmas gifts, Santa Claus, has come under pressure today to explain the process behind the compilation of his Naughty and Nice List.
The list has always been kept secret from the...
Trump Admits ‘I’d Actually Prefer Snowden To Farage’
President-elect Donald Trump revealed today that although he had expressed a preference for Nigel Farage as UK ambassador to the USA, this was a case of his "head ruling his penis".
"Although Nigel would be...
Piers Morgan to be face of ‘Free The Ballbag’ campaign
Piers Morgan has been revealed as the new face of men's rights campaign 'Free the Ballbag'.
Inspired by the feminist 'Free The Nipple' movement, the campaign aims to fight against what it calls a 'vaginocentric...
God bothering Stephen Fry to be stoned to death for blasphemy, the pure gobshite
Stephen Fry has been summoned to appear in the Irish Courts to face the charge of breaching the Irish Defamation Act.
It comes after the Garda completed their investigation into alleged blasphemy during a 2015...
