You know that feeling: the kids rush into your room at some ungodly morning hour and excitedly demand to know, “Has he been? Has he? Has he been?”

Yes, once again it’s Ed Balls day!

It’s easy to forget when the president of the United States regularly Tweets the linguistic equivalent of drool that once it was feckless Ed “Ed Balls” Balls who was the most entertaining moron on social media.

Nowadays we’re spoiled with Paul Nuttall, Paul Golding and his Zelda from Terrahawks look-alike side kick and that poncey gobshite from Prison Planet, but let us not forget the humble beginnings of Twitter numbfuckery.

So to all our readers we would like to wish you a happy Ed Balls day. May his blandness bless your loins and their fruit this springtime. And may the twerpery live on.

When the aeons of war left the gods dead and the universe decimated, a single duck rose from the ashes and stood for justice and freedom! It wasn't me, that duck, but we look quite bit alike.