Celebrity

Property botherer and dreadful chef Martin Roberts has demanded a recount following his failure to be elected President of the Jungle in this year's 'I'm A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here'. Roberts, the celebrity...

Celebrity spotters and various other people with naff all better going on in their lives were feverishly screaming over rumours of a celebrity feud reaching breaking point this morning. The feud erupted after it emerged...

A quiz show presenter who asked a cancer patient if it was possible his ill health is caused by your negative attitude has announced he is suing HBOS for fraud. The presenter who made the comments also...

Comedy duo and twin brothers Ant and Dec are to serve a six month sentence together in Wormwood Scrubs prison. The unusual move has come after Ant McPartlin crashed his car and failed a breath...

Following numerous occasions where he was always the bridesmaid, Nigel Farage is now delighted to be at the top of his tree in his chosen field. After the announcement that Prince Philip has retired from...

Following the news today that the government of the United Kingdom will shortly be raising the retirement age to 168 years old Bruce Forsyth has announced that he is excited to soon be old...

Cliff Richard, the long term bachelor and non-nonce, who our lawyers remind us isn't gay either, has been talking to the tabloid newspapers about how much he wishes the accusations against him would go...

A Kickstarter campaign to buy Bono a £15,000 Rolex watch has been hailed as an astounding success by the man who started. Bill Board told us, "I didn't think it would work. I wanted to...

Evening Standard Editor George Osborne is rightfully popular with recruitment specialists but few people are aware of his first job as famous, mysterious street artist Banksy. The Rochdale Herald’s crime correspondent spoke to Mr Osborne...

Following the implementation of new software allowing users to see just what exactly brings visitors to their website based on Googled search terms, a local Herald reporter has shamefully and cynically exploited the system by...

International media sensation, corpulent bearded sex symbol and father of the year, James Corden is to take the starring role in a planned new film of the life of UKIP leader and by-election failure...

In an official statement released this afternoon, God has apologised for the ongoing massacre of talent this year, blaming it on recent pressure to beef up Heaven’s on-site entertainment. The statement, published on the Vatican...

Renowned knobhead Liam Gallagher has snubbed famous knobhead James Corden by refusing to appear on his TV show Carpool Karaoke. Gallagher, who is currently touring sold-out village halls as a 'solo artist', took to Twitter...

"I'm pleased to have played my part though I won't be joining camp for dinner. I'm stuffed."

MPs have described the 'hysterical' moment they were crushed in a desperate stampede to be the most righteously indignant and offended. Mike Backbencher - MP for Nether Pissle - was one of the victims...

The Curse of "The Railway Children" has struck again. The film made in 1970 told the tale of a group of children and a railway. However the cast have paid a heavy price for their...