Europe

The European Union, desperate for the UK to remain, have said that the proposed European Standard Weather system due to come into operation early next year, could be extended to the UK - but...

"It's so simple, you take a real number and keep doubling it until everyone's eyes light up," explained May pointing out that it worked splendidly for calculating the amount of money the UK doesn't...

An idiot died in an avalanche of Karma in the town of Teruel in Aragon, Spain, yesterday. Victor Barrio (29), having spent the last 9 years of his adult life torturing large animals for fun...

A recent survey of tenants living in firetrap and substandard accommodation has showed overwhelming support for abolishing laws designed to protect them. The survey for think tank GovBalls has found that 90% of tenants would...

THE SPANISH GOVERNMENT'S representative in Catalonia has, sort of, apologised to those injured by the Iberian Stasi during Sunday's independence referendum. Enric Millo, playing the drunken wife-beater to Catalonia’s spouse-in-the-corner, blamed the Catalan Government for...

Emmanuel Macron last night served up a beautifully roasted swan at his victory dinner. The new French President was celebrating his victory with close supporters at a private event in Paris when he wowed...

Frock wearing top Catholic wizard Pope Francis has decided that transgender people are a crime against God. "They teach children -children!- that they can choose gender!" he exclaimed to cries of "And?" "Thank God for that,"...

Former Tory minister and leading Brexit campaigner Michael Gove has called on the government to slash EU regulations on cannibalism which he claims have been holding back British industry. "We need to take back control...

The UK border agency has been given the green light to start deporting the interred remains of people not born in the UK, a spokesman for the Agency confirmed to the Rochdale Herald Monday. The...

Following historic meetings with world leaders such as Carwyn Jones and Nicola Sturgeon during her first week as British Prime Minister Theresa is set to visit Angela Merkel in Germany today. Ostensibly the meeting in...

Sweetened hazelnut cocoa spread joins all the other things the frogs are hopping mad about News broke this week that the French, yes, that lot over there with le hoh hee hoh hee hoh, have...

Indigenous British cockwombles have been given official European Union "endangered species" designation as their numbers have plummeted due to loss of habitat to invasive foreign sock puppets. The new listing makes it illegal for residents...

News reports this morning state that the entire city of Hannover is to be evacuated following the discovery of numerous unexploded WW2 bombs. Apparently, Theresa May ordered the ordinance dropped on the German city to...

The population of Wales has been awarded a collective 2016 Darwin Award for its staggering act of self immolation in last year's referendum on membership of the European Union, it was announced Sunday. Speaking to...

Brussels has warned that Britain will no longer be allowed to use the decimal system following Brexit and will be forced to go back to pounds, shillings and pence and the imperial measurement system. It...

The Italian government had come under severe criticism today for the standards of its building construction in the 1600's. This comes in the wake of the earthquake that has left 270 dead in the...