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A large group of noisy twats on a train from London to Yorkshire are apparently unaware that they are all colossal twats. The group, who appear to be actors in their mid twenties, have been...

Beleaguered train operator Southern Rail has unveiled an ambitious new programme of investment to address overcrowding issues on commuter routes into London. The strike beset operator, which hasn't had a train arrive on time since...

Whenever election results don't go as hoped, there is always a chance that the downhearted will become the outright depressed.  Fortunately, Momentum organiser Mia Miah has managed to see the bright side. "Clearly, I am...

Four states in America have stopped giving away free assault rifles with every Happy Meal deal as a direct response to KFC banning knives in boxes of chicken in the UK. Denver West McDonald's Store...

The first privately funded mission to the moon has had an apparent failure resulting in a crash. The Israeli spacecraft called Beresheet had been sent on a mission to 'reclaim' ancient and rightful territory on...

The UK is a gigantic American prison according to balding conspiracist and radio gob Alex Jones- and Rochdale is the proof. The 42 year old- no, seriously we checked; he only looks 50+; said that...

Engineers have said it is unlikely they will be able to restore the chimes of Big Ben in time for New Year's Eve. Chief Engineer Kevin Phillips-Bong told us "We have a problem with...

One's elected representatives are a complete shambles, One writes. One will not invite any of the proffered candidates to form a government. Instead one will lead the country oneself. In times of crisis a leader...

The palace has revealed this morning that plans are in place to give the Duke and Duchess of Sussex a well deserved break from constantly going on completely free five star holidays all the...

Thomas Cook, one of the world's oldest travel providers has gone into liquidation, meaning thousands of job losses and over a hundred thousand holidays cancelled with British citizens already on holiday stranded. Keith Entwistle of...

Mass confusion ensued at the London Marathon today, as London dwellers cast off their stony facades and began to talk to one another. 'I started watching the Marathon and I don't know what came over...

After the closure of the famous London nightclub Fabric by Islington council, due to people taking drugs there, it was announced today that the the toilets in the House of Commons are also to...

Middle class consumers were left reeling today after one of the much beloved 'super foods' they incessantly extol the virtues of confirmed that everyone has been pronouncing its name incorrectly. Long pronounced Keen-warh by people...

Jeremy Corby has announced plans to shake up the media and make it more sympathetic to him and the Labour Party going forward. The plans were announced today by the most glorious, principled, caring...

Donald Trump has announced that steel and aluminium import tariffs will mitigate concerns that the Assault Rifles used in mass shootings recently have not been American enough. An NRA spokesman said, "The most concerning...

Researchers have proved that the number of roads a man must walk down before you call him a man is greater than, or equal to, zero. Professor Lance Boyle of the University of Rochdale said...