Southern Rail passengers treated for nausea after train unexpectedly moves
Reports from south London this afternoon state there was a dramatic and disturbing experience for dozens of Southern passengers when their train actually moved.
The incident has been described by rail transport experts as unprecedented...
Driverless Lorries to throw bottles of piss out of windows and murder hitch-hikers by...
In a dramatic step of unmanned vehicle technology, unmanned lorries will be distributing litter at motorway junctions and "disappear" young hitchhikers by the end of next year, the government has announced.
A contract has been...
Railway commuters told to save money by becoming drug addicts and losing their jobs
Railway commuters have been told that it will now cost at least one internal organ for them to travel to work this year. Costs are said to be so high many would be better...
Southern Rail offer Ryanair passengers bus replacement service for cancelled flights
Budget pay and pray airline, Ryanair have decided to cancel flights due to staff realising their pay and conditions could be significantly improved if they no longer worked there.
In a show of solidarity with...
Petition to slow trains to Birmingham to walking pace hits 70 million signatures
A petition to slow down trains headed to Birmingham from London has hit almost 70 million signatures in under two hours today.
“Why on Earth would anybody want to get to Birmingham more quickly?” asked...
Sean Spicer to be the reassuring new voice of Southern Rail
It was reported this morning that Southern Rail are headhunting Sean Spicer to be the new, reassuring voice of the beleaguered train service.
It's thought that managing the press relations with the travelling public in...
Service improves slightly as RMT union goes on strike
Thousands of commuters are experiencing slightly better service than normal this morning as members of the RMT union have gone on strike.
"I knew my train had been cancelled an hour beforehand, " Said Mary...
Southern Rail strike to be delayed
A strike by Southern Rail drivers due on the 9th of January has now been put back until the 10th.
"We apologise for the late arrival of the strike," said a spokesbloke for the RMT,...
Ryanair admit their trial of pilotless planes hasn’t gone exactly as planned
Ryanair have admitted that their latest cost-cutting measure, planes without pilots, has not been a complete success.
The airline, famed for its no-frills stance, with optional extras generally costing more than the actual ticket, had...
Ryanair cancel 18,000 flights following huge increase in customer satisfaction
Ryanair have announced the cancellation of 18,000 flights. The cancellations affect 40,000 people with many Rochdale residents hopeful they'll be affected.
A spokesman for Ryanair said, "Sure, we thought cancelling loads of flights would have...
