Football

Rochdale's Spotland stadium is set to unveil a new corporate section "with a difference" above the Willbutts Lane stand, in honour of world famous local townsperson - Bill Oddie. "Bill has seemed a bit down...

A big penis has spoken out today to deny any attachment to Manchester United striker Romelu Lukaku. Speaking to reporters outside his home address, the massive cock sought to distance himself from non-white people in...

Brazilian bladder-hoofer Naymar Davis Junior today explained his reasons for his £200 million move from Europe's most technically skilled, most competitive national football league to the one-horse procession that is the French First Division....

Lukaku is thought to be worth approximately 50m but has signed for United with an additional premium unofficially known as the 'United surcharge'. Lukaku's agent, Rob Grubber explained "It's coz they's loaded innit? Everyone...

John Terry has announced he's leaving Aston Villa today. Terry said he was leaving so that he could spend more time with Wayne Bridge's wife and kids. Terry told the assembled press, "It's been rough...

Footage has been revealed of the touching scenes when Wayne Rooney was reunited with his hair donor. The meeting took place on the rock of Gibraltar after Rooney was touring the rock and had just...

Tim Farron says he's over the moon at being able to field a full football team of MP's. Mr Farron told the Herald. "This is great. I knew I was doing well when I got recognised...

Sky TV and BT TV have both announced that the current Premier League TV rights deal precludes top-tier football a break in the event of nuclear winter. Currently, other leagues around Europe have scheduled a...

A Burnley fan who threw a pound coin at Joe Hart is on the run from Police today after authorities claim he is now the new legal owner of Burnley Football Club. The coin missed...

Just hours after the Norwegian football association ruled that female footballer's pay must be brought in line with that of the men's, the entire Norwegian national women's squad has been discovered in a debauched...

Following the glaring error made by Irish newspaper, The Herald (no relation) where a picture of the grime MC was used instead of Romelu Lukaku in the story about the players move to Manchester...

Transfer News: In a shock late move, minnows Rochdale have thrashed out a deal with giants Manchester United. As this weekend brought an end to the movement of players between clubs, Manchester United have agreed...

The Professional Footballers Association have warned that a 30% cut in their members' wages would damage the NHS as it would reduce the amount of tax revenue the national purse received. Seriously. They actually said this. The...

A moron has uttered a statement that is totally devoid of intelligence, it has emerged. The exact words used in this situation concerned a football qualifier for the FIFA world cup - a match...

The murderous psychopathic caliphate known as ISIS has applied to join the world football governing body, FIFA.  In a surprise move, they hope to be able to be accepted in time for the next World...