Special place in hell for people who put kisses on Facebook comments 

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An ancient Biblical commandment that has been left out of Bibles and Torah for thousands of years has finally been translated.  Archeolinguist Barry Wordsworth told us: "Thescroll has been resisting translation throughout history because it...

Man made ‘hilarious’ comment but got no likes

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Brian Dunphy of Newbold saw an article on LadBible about Donald Trump and had the perfect response. "I wrote something hilarious, it was so funny but there were like 3,756 comments about Harambe and it...

Piers Morgan behaves like a d**k on Twitter, again

Piers Morgan has taken to Twitter to characteristically behave like an utter tit today. Morgan, whose only physical accomplishment of note was to fall off a Segway and break two ribs shortly after saying "you'd...

Twitter Definitely Closing Down Next Year

Rumours that Twitter is to close for good in 2019 were confirmed today by some random user. "I kno sm1 on inside. #Twitter defo closing in 2019 #savetwitter" tweeted Hoaxy McHoaxface from his @totallylegit account. "It...

Zuckerberg assures Facebook have absolutely no information about your STD

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It's a sore subject that can become inflamed easily but there's an itch that needs to be scratched. In the wake of the fall out from the data protection controversy surrounding Facebook, under fire social...

Dalai Lama fury over Louis Smith Buddha is a fat bastard comments

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The Dalai Lama is said to be incandescently furious with Louis Smith after he was overheard calling Buddha a "fat fucker". Two time Olympic Pommel Horse runner up, Strictly Come Dancing winner and sore loser...

Woman dismayed by number of volunteers after threatening Facebook cull

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A Rochdale woman today described feeling 'shocked and disappointed' by the number of people who volunteered to be removed from her friends list after she threatened a Facebook 'friend cull'. Charlotte Gainsborough, 25, made the...

Biffer mentions bacon and thinks it’s hysterical

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Steven Faratrump from Rotherham today went on Britain First's Facebook page and headed straight to one of the thousands of anti-Muslim posts and quick as a flash posted a comment and slipped in the...

If you’ve got something to say to me say it to my face, says...

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Rochdale resident Rhona Rumbelow, 32, reacted angrily to something someone may or may not have said to someone else on Saturday at Swingers' nightclub formerly The Dog Inn. Speaking on Facebook with the help...

Facebook losing young members because of FIND OUT WHY BY CLICKING HERE NOW!!!!

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Facebook is losing young users because they're less susceptible to extremist clickbait than middle-aged idiots. Suggestible older plonkers who can't think for themselves are still joining the lucrative Russian mind control platform but young people...

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Labour reports sophisticated cyberattack after Jeremy Corbyn’s MySpace account is hacked

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The Labour Party has announced that it has been the subject of a cyberattack today. A spokesman told us, "We first became aware of the attack when Jeremy announced he could no longer access his...

Social media giant adds “I am staying home” button for Londoners

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Social media users woke to the discovery of a useful new button on one of the most popular platforms today as an "I am staying home" button was added just for today. The button is in...

Racist lobotomised prick likes Katie Hopkins

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The brown skin hating half brained bigot, Katie Hopkins, has an unfathomably large following since she started peddling bile for The Sun toilet paper. Keith Carlito, an unemployed 24 stone Britain First member said; "A...

Stickupthearseitis

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A new disease, spread apparently by social media, is endangering the nation. Stickupthearseitis affects hundreds of people everyday and symptoms include getting salty over satire and being a twat in the comment sections. “I have suffered...

Britain First’s meme maker in coma

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As Poppy Day draws ever closer, the strain of making anti Muslim memes has proven to much for Britain First's head of social media, Tommy (No knuckles) Smith, and yesterday he fell off his right-wing...
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