Facebook in league with mouse manufacturers

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Mouse manufacturers are celebrating at the moment at the future increase in sales caused by Facebook’s determined but ultimately futile attempt to make you use the ’Top Stories’ feature of their increasingly rubbish social...

Facebook to release new emoji for General Election

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It's three weeks till the nation goes to the polls for the third time in three years and the media coverage is increasing and the tension is bubbling like Tim Farron's bongwater. Incessant coverage, conflicting...

Swearing Increasing Exponentially Since Trump’s Inauguration

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Use of swear words has increased dramatically since Donald Trump’s inauguration, a study has shown. Since the 20th of January, the average number of swear words heard in everyday conversation has been doubling on a daily...

Rochdale man has farmville farm repossessed by bailiffs

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This week, a local middle aged man had his FarmVille repossessed during a raid on his parents property on Friars Crescent.

Social media giant adds “I am staying home” button for Londoners

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Social media users woke to the discovery of a useful new button on one of the most popular platforms today as an "I am staying home" button was added just for today. The button is in...

Racist lobotomised prick likes Katie Hopkins

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The brown skin hating half brained bigot, Katie Hopkins, has an unfathomably large following since she started peddling bile for The Sun toilet paper. Keith Carlito, an unemployed 24 stone Britain First member said; "A...

Man made ‘hilarious’ comment but got no likes

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Brian Dunphy of Newbold saw an article on LadBible about Donald Trump and had the perfect response. "I wrote something hilarious, it was so funny but there were like 3,756 comments about Harambe and it...

Biffer mentions bacon and thinks it’s hysterical

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Steven Faratrump from Rotherham today went on Britain First's Facebook page and headed straight to one of the thousands of anti-Muslim posts and quick as a flash posted a comment and slipped in the...

NHS partner with WhatsApp to reboot IT project

In a move to reduce costs and breathe new life into the long-abandoned £11.4 billion Centralised Records System, the NHS has announced a partnership with WhatsApp to improve access to patient data. WhatsApp, owned by...

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Want to see the week's most popular Rochdale Herald articles? Please feel free to join our Newsletter mailing list. It takes a couple of seconds to sign up and even less time to unsubscribe if you...

Trump Campaign Seeks Divine Intervention

The Trump campaign appears to have taken an unprecedented new course today, with the release of a series of posters on social media. The posters appear to be a cheaply reworked copy of a previous...

Piers Morgan behaves like a d**k on Twitter, again

Piers Morgan has taken to Twitter to characteristically behave like an utter tit today. Morgan, whose only physical accomplishment of note was to fall off a Segway and break two ribs shortly after saying "you'd...

Homeless man with hypothermia grateful that Facebook users are thinking about him

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David Wild, a 36 year old homeless man takes a sip of hot tea in the cafe we meet in. His hands are just withered stumps. His fingers fell off 2 days ago due...

Government to encourage more online petitions. 

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Prime Minister Theresa May has today launched a new initiative which will encourage people concerned with issues affecting them, their communities and the country to start a pointless online petition to bring it to...

Spell Check a Racist crashes Facebook

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Facebook was in chaos today after the soaring popularity of the Spell Check a Racist (S.C.A.R.) page caused a stack overflow causing the entire network to grind to a halt. "Sadly, we had no choice...

Super hunter chilli Yorkie ice cream man-bar ultra plus released for aggressive thrusting straight...

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In a bid to expand on the non-gay male ice cream market, a new extreme sports cryogenic experience for man men is being launched. It will contain jalapeño peppers recorded at 15 million on the...
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