Science and Technology

Fruit salads may cause cancer, top Latvian scientists have found. The study, published in Eat My Carcinoma, has sent shockwaves through fruit communities and undermines the long-held belief that this ancient food can help...

The question posed by Linkin Park all those years ago has been answered and people might not like the answer. According to scientists, who have been researching the question which hadn't been considered before the 90's nu...

Scientists from the Institute For Politicised Childhoods have announced the results of extensive testing, on toddlers, in laboratories. "They're all Conservatives, by and large." Dr. Bee Levermen revealed. "We had this hypothesis and we set...

Giant brain-sucking aliens from the R33-Delta 1 Q’Luurfb system have put back their planned invasion of the planet Earth we can exclusively reveal today. The green, eight-fingered, slimy Q’Luurfbians had planned to invade this coming...

Donald Trump has today given a speech suggesting that it's the 50th anniversary of Abraham Lincoln walking on Mars. A spokesman for POTATUS said, "POTATUS meant to mark 50 years since Neil Armstrong walked...

The secretive state of North Korea has managed to cure most illnesses from the common cold to cancer, it has been revealed. Ishit Yu Not, a 33-year-old North Korean doctor with a gun to his...

Scientists at the Laval University in Quebec have intercepted what they believe to be a message from extraterrestrials. The message was received encoded in modulations of the brightness of certain heavenly bodies and appears to...

Purveyors of fine bean and pasta based tinned goods, Heinz, announced a new product this morning. A spokesman told The Rochdale Herald: "It's all about equal opportunities and we feel the visually impaired are missing out...

Researchers at the world famous Rochdale Community University published groundbreaking research this morning proving that most of the Facebook Liberal elite don't know their arses from their elbows.

Scientists around the World have finally conceded that the Earth is most probably not a completely flat disc after all. Research conducted at the University of Oxford has proven conclusively that a cat on a...

Researchers have proved that the number of roads a man must walk down before you call him a man is greater than, or equal to, zero. Professor Lance Boyle of the University of Rochdale said...

28.2E Astra2/Eurobird1 may not mean anything to most people, but it is very much in the minds of worried Rochdale residents who have recently learned that the high-tech TV satellite is expected to fall...

WikiLeaks revelations that GCHQ has hacked into Samsung smart TV sets to turn them into listening devices has revealed some fascinating facts impacting on national security. A GCHQ spokesman said that operation Weeping Angel has...

Twitter was forced to set up thousands of new servers today after an Australian car safety campaign released pictures of Graham. Millions of original witsters tweeted "Looks a bit like my ex," or "I don't...

After the recent news that Stephen Fry is to be stoned to death by Irish authorities for calling God 'a bit of dick', the Irish Garda are now considering prosecuting other celebrity blasphemers. The most notable example...