Science and Technology

Our foreign correspondent Miffy Bigboots reports from South London. A man at a loose end over the weekend changed his opinion on virtually everything after watching 13 hrs of YouTube videos. Village idiot John Hardwick, unemployed...

Twitter was forced to set up thousands of new servers today after an Australian car safety campaign released pictures of Graham. Millions of original witsters tweeted "Looks a bit like my ex," or "I don't...

One of the winners of the 2019 Nobel Prize in Physics, Michel Mayor has told the Rochdale Herald that despite his award being announced last week he is still trying to remove U2's latest...

Wayne Cummings has beaten off stiff competition from brothers Wayne Kerr and Yiwen Kerr to slide into interim role as Bellend-in-Chief of the UK's leading far right hate group, Britain First. In the seminal 1985...

Top food scientists say they are 'very close' to successfully breeding a turkey with a cranberry bush. The new 'turkberry' hybrid bush-bird could be on our Christmas dinner tables as early as next year, if...

Claims have been made in a startling report that men only wear sunglasses so that they can check out other women without their wives & girlfriends seeing where their eyes are going. The report,...

Following the first few weeks of January and the continuation of celebrity deaths, alternative facts and general shitwittery we were granted an exclusive interview with 2017 itself. In a world first we spoke to the...

Science - Astronomers have the identity of the biggest object in the known universe, and it's not your average - or even above-average - celestial body. In a statement to the Rochdale Herald, Professor Brian...

Samsung made a shock announcement at the weekends major technology event, TERD (Technology, Electronics RochDale), which was held at the former site of The Xanadu night club in Rochdale. They're launching a massive product overhaul,...

Microsoft have announced today that they have finally finished fannying about with Windows and Microsoft Office. The news has been met with widespread concern by people who aren't sure if twenty thousand different fonts in...

The government has announced plans to tackle social isolation in the elderly by converting them into WiFi hotspots. The Department of Digital, Culture, Media & Sport aims to have over 90% of the nation's pensioners...

Groundbreaking research at Rochdale Technical University’s Institute of Genetic Engineering has confirmed that evolution has stopped working, and in some cases is being reversed, among the membership of right-wing extremist groups. Doctor Jean Splicer, 42,...

28.2E Astra2/Eurobird1 may not mean anything to most people, but it is very much in the minds of worried Rochdale residents who have recently learned that the high-tech TV satellite is expected to fall...

A Rochdale cyclist has spent the entire week explaining to people he works with how he knows the Earth is flat. Carl Isles, cycles the ten miles to work and back everyday and still gets...

The London Sleep Clinic has today confirmed that it should only be necessary to go to bed 17 more times before everyone regains the ability to use clocks and calendars to measure the passage...

The new Apple iOS update is to include a new autocorrect function for words such as muslin, briton and rasict. Computer giants and tax dodging bastards Apple have confirmed that the next update for its...