Science and Technology

28.2E Astra2/Eurobird1 may not mean anything to most people, but it is very much in the minds of worried Rochdale residents who have recently learned that the high-tech TV satellite is expected to fall...

The government has announced plans to tackle social isolation in the elderly by converting them into WiFi hotspots. The Department of Digital, Culture, Media & Sport aims to have over 90% of the nation's pensioners...

Astrophysicists around or rather, across the world are in turmoil after Oldham-born pop-rock sensation, Professor Brian Cox today admitted that the Earth is indeed flat. Prof. Cox dropped the bombshell on the scientific world...

Following the UK release of Pokemon Go ten days ago, several prominent spokespersons for leading UK religious organisations have spoken out, condemning the game as being opposed to the basic tenets of their religion. Facebook...

A woman who felt all was well in world and wasn't troubled by current media output was horrified to learn the truth today after finally changing the screen protector on her mobile phone. "I couldn't...

Wayne Cummings has beaten off stiff competition from brothers Wayne Kerr and Yiwen Kerr to slide into interim role as Bellend-in-Chief of the UK's leading far right hate group, Britain First. In the seminal 1985...

A study has proven that any one wire left unattended for 5 minutes, will tangle itself beyond the laws of physics.  The physics department of Rochdale Community University under lead scientist Professor Duane Dibbley, carried...

Nigel Farage is either blind to numbers or being a massive hypocrite, according to Professor Brian Cox, the eminent almost-Rochdale scientist.  "Farage has spent months whining on about how political and judicial frameworks must not...

A Rochdale man who got tired of struggling to explain what his job is, so that people could understand what he does, now just tells people he's a drug dealer instead. 29 year old Bill...

There has been chaos today around Cambridge today after all the Sat Navs in the town spontaneously held a minute silence in remembrance of brilliant physicist Stephen Hawking. The traffic was particularly dreadful around junction...

Rochdale residents have been angered by a DNA profiling study that showed that many weren't descendants of native Rochdaleans at all. The study, run by Rochdale Community University, was attended by a large array of...

Facebook couldn't be logged into earlier today after millions of people updated their statuses with things like; "The Prosecco is open! You know what that means don't you? Christmas!" And "That's me done until January now lol....

Thousands of iPhone users around the globe were left feeling cheated this week as they eagerly awaited news of the latest model from technology giant Apple. Desperate to discover what their next upgrade will...

?Speaking from a neutral zone hyperdock, leader of the New Dalek Empire Theres- Sorry, Dalek Sec, said today that the bid for re-election in 2049 will be spear-headed by a new slogan, one more...

Hypochondriacs around the UK were said to be giddy with the excitement at the prospect of a new NHS website that will encourage them to diagnose themselves using their smartphones. Barbara Dickinson of Rochdale said; "I've...

Scientists around the World have finally conceded that the Earth is most probably not a completely flat disc after all. Research conducted at the University of Oxford has proven conclusively that a cat on a...