One man’s terrorist is another man’s freedom fighter, insists Theresa May

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Alarmed by Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn's threat to cross the floor of the House of Commons to challenge for the Tory leadership, Prime Minister Theresa May tonight responded with unexpected vitriol.      "I know...

HS2 in doubt after MPs voice concern about providing an army of white walkers...

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Lord Chris Greyling, Secretary of State for Transport, revealed this afternoon that the government is considering changing its mind over HS2 out of health and safety concerns. The major concern stems from the worry that...

Farage to Play Farage in “Brexit the movie”

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Spielberg declined to outline the full plot of "Brexit" but did confirm that it would involve a number of "dream sequences" in which Farage wrestles and kills a great white shark, unearths the ark of the covenant, liberates Auschwitz, clones dinosaurs and rescues an American soldier trapped behind German lines in world war two France.

Full blown Brexit testing on monkeys halted after everything in lab just f*cking died

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David Davis, lead researcher in the government's secretive Brexit Lab, has announced that Brexit testing on monkeys has been halted after everything in the lab immediately escaped or just f*cking died. The shock reaction to...

Amazon reports increase in sales of knives and sharpeners in run-up to Conference Season

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Politicians up and down the country have been inundating Amazon with orders for back-stabbing knives, hatchets, whetstones and sharpening steels as they ready themselves for the imminent Party Conference Season. An Amazon source confirmed...

White House Press Office denies denying denials of denials denying denials

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The White House Press Office has issued a fresh set of denials denying denials of  denials denying denials. "We knew about Mr Trump's links to Russia over a year ago," says a press release from...

Davis to seek pinky promise with Barnier over customs arrangements post Brexit

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David Davis offered reassurance today to business leaders worried about customs arrangements post Brexit by declaring he would seek a pinky promise with Michel Barnier. It's felt that by offering such a time honoured and...

Is Trump as well hung as May’s Parliament?

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Hard on the heels of the revelation that President Donald Trump has fake Time Magazine covers hanging on the walls of his golf course clubhouses, The Rochdale Herald can reveal exclusively that his Playboy...

David Davis fails to negotiate corner on way to Brexit talks

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Brexit supremo David Davis has suffered a minor road accident when he tried, and failed, to negotiate a corner. Healthcare professionals were on the scene immediately to ensure that Davis's hard exit was achieved.  The...

Lessons not learned for out of touch May as she fails to show up...

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Critics have jumped on to Theresa May claiming that she is out of touch and still has not learned the lessons of the recent past. "She has not learned the lessons of the recent past"...

Donald Trump commemorative jigsaws to have missing pieces by design

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The White House has confirmed that the new range of Trump jigsaw puzzles, commemorating the President's achievements in office, are deliberately missing several pieces. The release of the puzzles is timed to capitalise on Trump’s...

Twitter scientists confirm discovery of human parrot hybrid that only speaks Tory

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The BBC’s most insightful political journalist has been discovered to be a species of parrot and awarded a delightful new name today by natural historians. Avian studies experts from the Rochdale Museum of Modern Natural...

Theresa May’s constant turning catches attention of the Royal Ballet

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Theresa May has once again been forced into a U turn on policy, this time on the so called 'Dementia Tax'.  It comes after a series of high profile turns, such as her stance on Brexit, an...

Clocks won’t go back this month due to EU ruling

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The European Union and the UK Government have agreed that the UK's clocks won't go back an hour in October this year or change at until Brexit negotiations have concluded. The move comes following complaints...

Whitehouse denies denying things that were denied last week

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The Whitehouse press corps was today left totally baffled by the latest denial issued by a Whitehouse press spokesperson. The denial was in response to a denial issued by President Trump in response to a...

Government reassures that Brexit talk delays are all part of the plan

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Number 10 has today reassured the Rochdale Herald that everything is in good order and that they do, in fact, know what they are doing with Brexit. Our Number 10 insider told us “Our...
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