Politics

Brexit supremo David Davis has suffered a minor road accident when he tried, and failed, to negotiate a corner. Healthcare professionals were on the scene immediately to ensure that Davis's hard exit was achieved.  The...

Payday loan provider Wonga has announced today that it has offered to step in and help the government. The move follows a further reduction of Britain’s credit rating by Moody's. The reduction from ‘mortgage potentials’...

Critics have jumped on to Theresa May claiming that she is out of touch and still has not learned the lessons of the recent past. "She has not learned the lessons of the recent past"...

There were tense scenes outside the former Waitrose building in Rochdale's upmarket Falinge Estate yesterday after crowds of militant political moderates and progressives clashed at the "Moderates Against Moderation" Rally. Rochdale's champagne socialists and pro-Corbyn...

In a miraculous change of heart Rochdale Online has decided to give the suspended MP Simon Danczuk a break. Editor Sandra Simonhater said "He did nowt wrong today" instead opting to report on Rochdale...

The Herald has learned that Theresa May is facing sanctions by ATOS today after missing two job interviews in a row. The soon to be unemployed Prime Minister and part-time lizard, Theresa May, was due...

Theresa May is said to be thrilled this morning to have won the all party "Person Most Surprised Theresa May is still Prime Minister Award" for the seventh week running. The award has been presented...

The contractor used for the Tory conference stage set has been awarded a £2bn social housing contract. Brian Odget and Simon Carper, who have been working together for over twenty years, are celebrating their biggest...

The Whitehouse press corps was today left totally baffled by the latest denial issued by a Whitehouse press spokesperson. The denial was in response to a denial issued by President Trump in response to a...

Following the Government's success in the Great Repeal Act, Brexit Secretary David Davies has moved to assure Parliament that the lingering taste of this legislative shit sandwich will get better over time, the more...

The EU has announced this morning that it has listed Boris Johnson as a product of the United Kingdom with protected geographical status, just like a Jersey Royal potato. The move to safeguard Mr Johnson’s...

The government is celebrating today as the figures released by the ONS show that unemployment as at its lowest since 1975 or something. “It’s a really great achievement for conservatism, and you can’t deny the...

Michael Gove, the man who claimed Britain had “had enough of experts” would appear to have at least some time for them, at least when it comes to his own health. Dining out in a...

Leading members of the Right Wing Nutjobs Association have been flinging accusations around willy-nilly to the amusement of 'leftie libtards' everywhere. Right wing nutjob Nigel Farage called Britain First a bunch of right wing...

Disgraced labour MP, serial text pest and pornography enthusiast Simon Danczuk accused the former Business Secretary Sir Vince Cable of being "old hat" on Twitter this morning. Sir Cable, who wasn't suspended from his party...

The producers of the James Bond movie franchise are said to be absolutely over the moon about Vladimir Putin's recent decision to reboot the Cold War.