Politics

Amber Rudd announced plans today to crack down on the current outbreak of human compassion sweeping the country. Compassion has been on the rise recently after a series of disasters have brought communities together to...

Diane Abbott has declared Jeremy Corbyn "statistically the most popular & electable Labour leader ever" after the leaked Labour Manifesto shows that Labour have decided to re-nationalise British Rail. The decision came after Corbyn was...

Jeremy Corbyn, twice elected leader of the Labour party has been warned by a soothsayer to "Beware the Ides of March". It comes days after the loss of the Copeland constituency to the conservatives in the recent...

The Oxford English definition of irony, former Middle East Peace Envoy, Tony Blair, suggested a political return may be on the cards in a magazine interview published earlier today. The comments came in reference to...

Bill Board, spokesman for the Government, has told The Rochdale Herald that Theresa May is privately thrilled that the Russian Government has accused her Government of staging the Salisbury poisoning. Mr Board explained, "Theresa was...

Details are sketchy at present but apparently the Lockheed Martin Trident Vote after party was absolutely "off the hook". We can only imagine what kind of party you might throw for 472 of your closest...

Today small minded people up and down the land were in uproar as rumours that the cheese eating surrender monkeys want the English border to be moved to England. Nigel (52) from Rochdale told us; "This...

The Herald, your only reliable source for news these days, has yet again got the scoopiest of exclusives, today we interview the CIA on the recent Russian hacking and election tampering. RH: Good afternoon....

Confusion reigns following the Queen's Speech as the Tories deny all knowledge of a manifesto that may, or may not, have existed prior to the recent General Election. Commentators hoping to compare the content of...

The murderous psychopathic caliphate known as ISIS has applied to join the world football governing body, FIFA.  In a surprise move, they hope to be able to be accepted in time for the next World...

News reports this morning state that the entire city of Hannover is to be evacuated following the discovery of numerous unexploded WW2 bombs. Apparently, Theresa May ordered the ordinance dropped on the German city to...

Jeremy Corbyn, leader of the opposition and the second coming Jesus Christ our Lord and Saviour, has set about his first week back in parliament sacking anyone who opposes the government. He has also...

Tristram Hunt had "returned to the fold" and told his friends and family that "his life a socialist was just a phase".

  The spokesman explained that, during his visit in October, President Trump will be shown all the normal formalities accorded to a visiting US president. These include a ride up the Mall in the golden state coach with...

The British Prime Minister is today at the EU Summit in Florence to give a landmark speech to a 4,000 seat amphitheatre containing one homeless man and a stray dog. The long-awaited key speech, in...

Former Tory minister and leading Brexit campaigner Michael Gove has called on the government to slash EU regulations on cannibalism which he claims have been holding back British industry. "We need to take back control...