Other News

A violent, egomaniacal racist arsehole is being treated for pneumonia after being admitted to hospital in Majorca.

Following her first speech in the European Parliament, we have avoided the term 'maiden speech' as all her speeches are maiden, Anne Widdecombe has acted decisively. In order not to be accused of hypocrisy when...

Hip hop maestro and rap superstar, 30 Bob, from Milnrow Rochdale, was arrested last week on drugs charges we can exclusively reveal. In a statement he told us: "Aye, I got caught like. But we rappers...

In an attempt to make the Labour leadership election more comradely and fairer, the Labour PLP has been trawling through the social media activities of all its members. Members who were deemed to be lefty...

Labour Shadow Home Secretary, Diane Abbott, has been suspended from the party after it emerged she was accused of using a racist slur during a public discussion about the Conservative Government. Diane Abbott, the MP...

It was announced this morning by ToryDinners4U, a think tank specially focused on food service and traditional conservative values, that the prime minister will attempt to win back the youth vote by inviting younger...

It's been a fairly typical week for Rochdale's "MP" after he found himself at the centre of another embarrassing shit storm. In another in a series of decisions Simon has lived to regret, which have...

Boris Johnson today ran into further hot water, or perhaps hot oil, over comments responding to Nicola Sturgeon's view that only an Independent Scotland could protect itself from the "Brexit Fallout". In what have come...

A multi-million organisation has insisted that there's nothing suspicious at all about the new data policy updates, despite them being completely and utterly suspicious. 'The easiest thing to do is to just accept the terms...

FOC guidelines for travellers to the USA are to be updated following recent events it was announced today. "We do realise that culturally it's very tempting to lie on a beach soaking up the rays...

The town of Bolton has decided to release a strongly worded on letter to the press following the election of Mr Henry Bolton as the new leader of the UK Independence party. In the...

Excellent Tory plan is embraced by all writers of most patriotic newspaper in North of England In response to a letter from that most patriotic of MPs, Chris Heaton-Harris, the Herald’s Editor Quentin D Fortesqueue,...

Britain's next Prime Minister is guaranteed to be female but what most people don't know yet is that only one of the contenders will come out of the leadership battle alive. Sources claim that the...

Tony Robinson is expected to take to Twitter this evening to announce an upcoming ‘Time Team’ special feature in which he and the gang will dig up great swathes of the countryside searching for...

In a completely pointless landmark ruling costing millions the Supreme Court has had its final say. Brexit means Brexit, which means both the Houses Parliament and Lords will have to vote on leaving the EU,...

It seems that testing conditions, designed to mimic working in an average open plan office space, may have coloured the subjects' results. "It wasn't that their neutral faces were 'bitchy', just that even within a short time of meeting us, they were already just sick of our shit."