Other News

Hot on the news that she is expecting her third child Channel 4 has announced that the Duchess of Cambridge is to present a special royal edition of Bake Off. "This is a unique opportunity...

The Chancellor of the Exchequer, Phillip Hammond, has just released a statement confirming that he was uninjured in Thursday's car crash of an election. The crash, which political commentators have described as being one of...

All words and language in all forms and formats are to be banned from next week for all eternity. The reason for the multi-party agreed new ruling is simple: “At this stage pretty much anything said...

Heavy drinking from breakfast till unconsciousness has won the top spot in a national survey to discover what makes Christmas so special for the British public. Narrowly beating 'Two days off work' and 'Getting an...

Over the weekend the actor and "comedian" Jack Whitehall took to social media to address rumours that he might play Idris Elba in the upcoming Idris Elba biopic. On Sunday morning, Whitehall posted a series...

Love island viewers were last night in shock after it was revealed the island is to be transformed into a syphilis colony. The revelations came in response to Jonny revealing he has crabs. Camilla and...

Good news on the prospects with Brexit this afternoon as news broke that the entire world is lining up to provide easy sex for Britons by bending us over the negotiating table and taking...

German shoppers are disappointed that they have nowhere to buy lots of pointless tat in the run up to Christmas.  With every British town apparently having a German Christmas market now, Germans are wondering where...

Talks between the Conservatives and the DUP are said to be ongoing as the PM desperately tries to cobble together a slim working majority for her new government after the disastrous general election result...

Following reports of a United Airlines passenger being violently removed from an overbooked flight on Sunday, angry Ryanair passengers have demanded to know why they can't be treated with the same level of dignity. Several...

Popular TV carrot Kevin was among a bag of carrots snatched from the Oldham branch of Aldi by ruthless Muslim gang the 'Iqbal family'. The gang carried out the audacious snatch at lunchtime yesterday, making...

As the country basks in the glory of Team GB's second place in the Olympic medal table, China released a press statement saying, "The People's Republic of China wishes to congratulate the British team for...

Inter galactic alcoholic drinks giant JoJo - Diageo is to close all of its Scotch Whisky distilleries in Scotland and move production to Romania, the company announced Friday. The company, generally referred to by it's traditional Scottish...

As the race for the Tory Party Leadership heats up, Teresa May has today announced transformative economic reform plans for the Northern Powerhouse. The ambitious plans to boost the UK textile industry in "grim northern...

The last man intelligent enough to set the clock on the microwave to the correct time has reportedly died aged 74. The man, an astrophysicist and cosmologist who is largely credited with furthering mankind's understanding...

Bank of England unveils new non-gender alignment biased polymer tenner. As of today, ten million new ten pound notes bearing the new design have now been brought into circulation. As well as including a tactile...