Other News

News is just in that spot poll of everybody in the UK has revealed today that the UK's favourite synonym for taking a dump is now "off to free Tommy Robinson." According to experts at...

There was shock and disbelief amongst Rochdale motorists yesterday as the police went out and caught a murderer, instead of stopping poor innocent speed enthusiasts. Events unfolded during rush hour yesterday when police observed an...

As we do every year, every damn year, we headed down to Rochdale Sixth Form College. Next to Hopwood Hall College, in what our councillors will try to laughably convince you is the “educational...

It has been announced that President Trump’s forthcoming visit to the UK has been downgraded from a full state visit. POTUS was invited to meet the Queen at Buckingham Palace by Theresa May earlier in...

Over 50% of the average working day is taken up pretending to give a fuck about other people's children, according to new research. A study carried out by Rochdale man Will Thomson, 32, found that...

Foreign Office officials have confirmed that Boris Johnson has finally accepted that the British Empire no longer contains Canada, more than a year after he was first appointed Foreign Secretary. Speaking on condition of anonymity...

The Internet exploded this morning amidst claims that The Rochdale Herald is not only guilty of making up the news but has been plagiarising The Southend News Network. Professor Bryan Cocks of Rochdale's Community University...

“Putting a woman in the Tardis is like putting a woman in Number Ten. And we all know how well that went!” Capaldi said, as he addressed an emergency cabinet meeting. “I love Number...

After what critics are calling a feeble effort to tackle childhood obesity the government is now in hot water again as it transpired that cabinet meetings, after the recess, are to be sponsored...

Wayne Cummings has beaten off stiff competition from brothers Wayne Kerr and Yiwen Kerr to slide into interim role as Bellend-in-Chief of the UK's leading far right hate group, Britain First. In the seminal 1985...

A recent survey has revealed that a staggering 89% of Tory MPs are unable to findtheir constituency on a map. The survey results, which were released to the Rochdale Herald today, show that only 11%...

The Liberal Democrats are said to be heartened by the progress they've made in this election campaign after reports that a member of the public recognised Tim Farron in Tesco Express last night. The man...

The parents of a child who saw another boy in a dress at school are suing the school because a man in a frock said boys can't wear dresses. The man in the frock apparently...

Gareth Southgate has revealed that his plan to completely disappoint loads of English people is going exactly according to plan. At a press conference Southgate said, "Expectations for this tournament were so low when we...

U2 lead singer, Bono has announced that most of U2's songs are about his need to avoid tax. Bono is alleged to have told the owner of a Lithuanian shopping centre that a Lithuanian shopping...

The collection of gammon faced halfwits known as the UK Independence party has appointed the internationally famous cat abuser Mary Bale as an advisor on cat welfare issues. Mary will advise Gerard whathisface, this week's...