Other News

Jeremy Corbyn is to be charged with electoral fraud by the CPS following reports that, although clearly unelectable, he has been winning elections since the early 1980's. "It's an open and shut case." An unnamed...

So called ISIS or Islamic State today sensationally claimed responsibility for the destruction of the the Grain Power Station Chimney in Kent. In a Facebook post of the group claiming to be "ISIS In Romford,...

The Secretary of State for International Trade, Liam Fox, was thrilled to announce this week the first trade agreement for a post-Brexit Britain. The historic deal with Mexico’s Sinaloa Cartel, the world’s most powerful drug...

The Home Office has confirmed that the United Kingdom's post-Brexit passport covers will be halal-certified. The iconic Royal blue cover, which is due to be reintroduced in March 2019, is seen by many Brexit campaigners...

Your cat has confirmed that despite only being willing to eat one specific type of food, it is still more than happy to lick its own anus. Speaking to reporters earlier today, the furry little...

Wanky-named cod impersonator and Labour MP Thangar Debonairre (ironically in charge of modern culture!) was recently told to "Get in the sea," by a student of Bristol University. The Labour MP then reported this as...

Noted elderly naturist David Attenborough was cock-a-hoop yesterday when he announced the discovery of the first new species of great ape for many years. Mr Attenborough announced "We have certainly discovered a new great ape....

Racquetball superstar Andy Murray today spoke of how his charisma-free personality brings all the girls to his yard. Murray, whose public speaking manner is so mind-numbingly tedious that renowned impressionist Alastair MacGowan famously fell asleep...

Theresa May stood outside 10 Downing Street this afternoon to reassure an increasingly worried country that, "Don't worry, my government will soon be gone." "It is the mark of a stable leader to know when...

Dog lovers and animal rights activists around the country are said to be outraged and disgusted after the editor of The Daily Mail reportedly bit the head off a Labrador puppy during an editorial...

  In an historic address to the nation this evening, People's Supremo Boris 'BloJo' Johnson outlined the roadmap back to the new normality that opposition MPs have been crying out for these past seven weeks. Key...

The new head of the National Grid, Nicola Shaw,  has today encouraged consumers to opt for "smart energy" devices which will enable her to keep her job at times of peak energy usage.  With spare...

Following the box office success of ‘Wonder Woman’ pressure is growing for a Hollywood studio to finally make a superhero movie with a strong male lead. Superhero movies have been repeatedly criticised in recent...

A group of Rochdale anarchists have been telling the Herald about the treatment they received at the hands of the German police at the recent G20 protests.  The anarchists are members of Rochdale group, Dissidence...

Research has shown that the Old Trafford gig on July 4th by Radiohead attracted more wankers than any previous gig. It is estimated that, of the 31,000 crowd, 68.7% were utter tosspots. The total...

Reports are coming in that there has been a serious collision at Middleton Lidl. It is believed the carnage was a result of an inexperienced cashier calling for a new till to be open. So far...