Really Respectable Reputation of Casting Couch Crushed as Absolutely Amazing Allegations Horrify Hollywood Hierarchy
Hollywood, nay, America, nay the whole World, has been rocked to its core by allegations that a man abused his position of power, as this, categorically, does not happen all the time.
Renowned woman...
“Leave scientists” confused by spoon
Leave the EU scientists found themselves stumped this afternoon when faced with a spoon.
They had previously been asked to identify a knife and a fork, to work out what to do with them, but...
Eric Bristow checks out aged 20 double top
Eric Bristow, the world's oldest ever darts player, was at the Premier League Darts event at Liverpool's Echo Arena when he checked out aged twenty double top.
Despite staying in the top flight shape you'd...
Oven ready chicken refuses to leave fridge
Despite professing for weeks that he was much more oven ready than 'that Turkey Corbyn', the world's largest chicken has refused to leave a fridge in a hospital in Leeds. With shocking fowl language, a...
Alabama legislature confirms blacks still welcome to get abortions or be shot by police
Emergency session of Alabama state legislature passes important exemption
In an emergency session of the Alabama state legislature, State Senator Garlan Gudger proposed an amendment motion to the State's abortion restrictions.
"Clearly, we only meant the...
Britain happy to be America’s toilet after Brexit and doesn’t fear a blockage
Dr Liam Fox is in America this week offering the United Kingdom up as America’s toilet, after Brexit, and sees no risk of a blockage.
“Whenever you need to dump a load of hamburger we’ll...
We’re just going to f**king do Brexit, you lot look after yourselves May tells...
The Prime Minister shocked the country today by forcing a kindly old lady in a blue and yellow hat that looked like an EU flag to read out a note which read, "We're just...
Theresa May ready to deny TV debate ever took place
The BBC and ITV are to defy Conservative Party wishes and air live debates between participating parties before the upcoming June election.
An inside source at Downing Street has told the Herald, "Theresa has locked...
Stephen Fry forced to deny writing tomorrow’s Queen Speech
Rumours are circulating within Westminster village regarding tomorrow's Queen's Speech. In order for it to be the unmistakable work of comedy everyone expects, Downing Street has commissioned the famous comedian Stephen Fry.
Given the smash hit...
G20 Crisis as Trump eats hot dogs in Hamburg.
President Donald Trump caused outrage in Hamburg, Germany today, eating hot dogs and apple pie and drinking root beer all flown in with him on Airforce One.
President Trump is in Germany to...
Theresa May rehearsing upcoming Brexit u-turn while on hill walking holiday
"It will be my most challenging about face yet." The Prime Minister is reported to have informed her cabinet as they prepared to disband for the summer holidays.
"I will need the support of each...
Michael Barrymore to present I’m A Celebrity, Get Me Out Of Here
Michael Barrymore is to present the next series of, "I'm a celebrity, get me out of here".
The new series will see contestants head to a remote island where they will spend three weeks living...
Boris’ Barney buggering off says barber
In a hair raising exclusive, The Rochdale Herald has discovered the secret to the frankly unhinged character of the Foreign Secretary, Boris Johnson is linked to his unconventional hairstyle.
We spoke to his hairstylist, Quiff...
Tories relying on the elderly to forget about the Dementia Tax to win election
After announcing their proposal for elderly social care, Theresa May and the Conservative Party went down in the polls harder than an OAP slipping on an icy path.
Dubbed as the 'Dementia Tax' the proposal saw the...
Farron Accepts Offer of Education Secretary As May Offers Anti-Brexit Coaltion
Tim Farron spoke of his relief this evening as he accepted Theresa May's offer of a coalition government on the condition of an anti-Brexit agenda.
Cleverly Farron avoided discussion of tuition fees during the election...
Sean Spicer to be the reassuring new voice of Southern Rail
It was reported this morning that Southern Rail are headhunting Sean Spicer to be the new, reassuring voice of the beleaguered train service.
It's thought that managing the press relations with the travelling public in...
