Accusations of Racism Hit John Lewis Commercial

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The new John Lewis advert, featuring a black British family giving their daughter a trampoline for Christmas has been denounced as racist. "It's an outrage!' said Paul Slaithwaite (53) 'Badgers, foxes, squirrels, hedgehogs, they...

Who you calling dangerous? Asks Kumbuka

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Today the Rochdale Herald is delighted to bring you our exclusive interview with Kumbuka the gorilla who briefly escaped from London Zoo this week. RH: Good morning, Kumbuka. Kumbuka: Whatcha. Listen, I need to correct you...

Smallbridge Flats Man Convinced Pigeon Likes to Watch him Hoover Naked

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While spending a good portion of his weekly income on the Euromillions, Mr. Garry Lee Shaw complained about the fifth or even sixth time that week that he’d seen the exact same pigeon outside...

Egyptian Zoo claim donkey identifies as zebra.

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Representatives from a zoo in Cairo have come forward to say that claims that they dressed a donkey up as a zebra are unfounded and unfair on the zebra, who has lived that way...

New York Giraffe constipated not pregnant

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On the 11th of February, the Animal Adventure Park in Harpursville, New York began a live feed from the inside of a Giraffe pen. 'April' the 15 year old Giraffe was believed to be in the...

Gove clarifies that Government will extend the term non-sentient to include any living being...

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In a desperate bid to look like the Tories are not using Brexit as an excuse to bring back fox hunting, cock fighting, prima nocta, encourage ultra intensive farming practises and turn a blind...

Deer left shaken by run in with Prince 

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A Balmoral based deer has spoken out after being run down by the heir to the British throne. Dougal Hornhead spoke to the Herald after seeking veterinary care. "Aye, I wiz jist out for a run...

South Yorkshire Police arrest tree during tree felling protest

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The long standing dispute over the unpopular and legally dubious felling of Sheffield street trees took a bizarre new turn when South Yorkshire Police diverted from their tactic of arresting people under out of...

House spiders launch campaign to reduce number of ‘sleeping mouth’ fatalities

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A group of house spiders has launched a campaign aimed at reducing the number of arachnids being swallowed by sleeping humans. 

Rochdale pigeons attempt to teach Rochdale ‘couple art of love’

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Two Rochdale pigeons have tonight, for the fourth night in a row, spent 45 minutes teaching Rochdale couple Stephen and Mary King the art of love. The pigeons, who recently moved into a tree across from...

Pedigree Siberian hamster spotted near Brighton

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Christmas came early for a rare pedigree Siberian hamster called Dorothy who's been found safe and well in Upper Dicker, East Sussex, this week. She was spotted by Mrs Smelta Ratt whilst on the...

If the Irish don’t want Apple’s £11BN tell them we’ll have it – say...

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It transpires that North Sea Oil Revenues now contribute £60Million to the Scottish revenue pot, down from almost £13Billion a couple of years ago because you now sell a barrel of North Sea Oil...

Magic mushroom season not as bad as rumoured

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Rumours that this year's magic mushroom season has been a let down are made of regret and the memory of socks from Bolivia, says a lamp in this giant spoon. The story began once upon...

Nearly okay to kill elephants again

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As we take in the wonderful news of the large increase in the number of elephants across the south of Africa, Zimbabwe has called for the legalization of the ivory trade. Zimbabwe, famous for its...

Tsunami threat issued for East coast of England after Yorkshireman does massive poo

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A Tsunami threat has been issued for the East coast of England after a man who hasn't had a shit for a week finally found success in the downstairs loo. Findley Leigh-Pseudonym, a newspaper...

Russia denies involvement as Springwatch ‘Favourite British Wild Animal’ poll won by the weasel.

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Questions have been asked as the BBC Springwatch poll to find Britain's favourite wild animal was convincingly won by the weasel. "I have to say it's a bit of a shock" said presenter Christov Pakov....
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