Media

Reports are coming in this morning that despite 2017's best efforts David Attenborough has been found alive and well. The news comes as welcome relief after several elderly millionaire celebrities including George Michael (53) and...

The Rochdale Herald held an exclusive poll earlier today to find out the public's reaction on whether or not they should have to got through age verification processes in order to access Adult websites. Teen...

Jonathan Harmswoth, 4th Viscount of Rothermere, controlling shareholder and current chairman of the Daily Mail has finally come clean and admitted that the newspaper is simply an elaborate hoax that went too far. It has...

A writer for a satirical news site recently spent a lot of time saying that Jeremy Clarkson and Co's new Grand Tour show was going to flop. Now he's been shown to be utterly wrong,...

Undercover Herald reporter Bazzer McNood has been sentenced to 15 months (suspended) plus a 20 hour Community Service Order for making lewd and obscene nuisance phone calls in contravention of the Communications Act 2003.   Mr McNood,...

The Global Head of IT Security for Yahoo has moved swiftly to support customers and dispel rumours of incompetence. VP of IT Security Brian Hodgkins, a retired PE Teacher from Rochdale, has contacted every Yahoo...

The specialist chamber housing Sir David Attenborough was created by NASA for long haul space travel and would have allowed Astronauts to be put into a special suspended animation field. The field works by essentially...

Television and radio opinion blower Jeremy Vine was subjected to a road rage incident while cycling to work in London yesterday.  He was followed and accosted by the driver of a car who believed he...

A study by the prestigious department of Idiocy and General Fuckwittery at the World famous Rochdale Community University has revealed that between 111% and 112% of all people who use social media can't tell the difference between real and fake news.

Less than a week has gone by since a Daily Mail editor allegedly tried to defend his decision to relegate the Olympic Gold Medallist, who happens to have alopecia, to the back cover of...

The UK’s second best-selling hate rag, The Sun, is to be relaunched as a colouring book.  As of next week, the Murdoch-owned ‘newspaper’ will cease printing stories and instead focus on producing “exciting and thought-provoking...

If you want any chance of hearing any of your favourite Christmas tunes, then you better tune in to this week. Radio 2 has today announced that, due to the offensive nature of all Festive...

Following the release of salaries of high profile staff at the BBC one of the highest paid stars has vowed to make a stand. Former England captain, TV presenter, people's Poet, sliced potato salesman and...

Allegedly Paul Dacre rang round every Daily Mail journalist to ensure The Daily Mail created the appropriate coverage of the terrorist incident in Finsbury. Simply saying that some idiot had driven into a crowd of...

The Canary has made the suprising claim that Jeremy Corbyn's meeting with a Czech spy hastened the end of the cold war. The claim was made in an editorial piece this morning. The editorial said,...

There were scenes of jubilation around the country this afternoon after Paul Dacre "did the decent thing" and shot himself with a revolver after drinking half a bottle of scotch at Northcliffe House.