New 2017 Celebrity Death Programming

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In a surprise announcement today, the BBC revealed its strategy for recovering an audience lost by the betrayal of Paul Hollywood and his "Fakey Cakey Bake Off". There will be changes to the format of "Springwatch" next...

Liberal hospitalised after catching racism from Daily Mail

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A Rochdale man has been admitted to a psychiatric hospital today after contracting racism from a close encounter with the Daily Mail.  Colin Nigelsson, a liberal from Broadfield Park has for years habitually used the...

Daily Mail asking readers to buy two copies each

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Pressure appears to be mounting in the offices of the Daily Mail, as their latest idea in an attempt to boost sales is to ask readers to buy two copies each. The paper, famous for...

Nobody knows what that Facebook fisher is going on about

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It was revealed today that nobody knows what that friend who keeps posting attention seeking statuses is actually on about.

Laura Kuenssberg is a parrot confirm scientists analysing Twitter

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The BBC’s most insightful political journalist has been discovered to be a species of parrot and awarded a delightful new name today by natural historians. Avian studies experts from the Rochdale Museum of Modern Natural...

Sex Workers to sue Daily Mail for comparing them to Melania Trump

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Millions of sex workers are suing right wing rag, The Daily Mail, after they referred to Melania Trump as a "former sex worker" in an article about her immigration status. "Listen, despite us providing an...

Daily Mail outrage as child placed with Muslim foster parents not with Christian child...

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The Daily Mail and its readers have reacted with fury after a child was placed with a Muslim foster family due to a lack of Christian foster families to take the child in. Many Mail...

Heroic ‘fragile snowflake’ Piers Morgan attempts to man up by sitting on a sofa

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Piers Morgan will today make a daring attempt to return to doing what he does best. Sitting on his arse while regurgitating tripe about immigrants, tweeting Gary Lineker, and perving on Susannah Reid. Morgan, co-host...

Reality blamed for increase of violence on television

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Recent studies by a team at Oxford University have found potential links between reality and the increasing portrayal of graphic violence on TV. Many of the most popular television shows worldwide, including ratings giants The...

Daily Mail Editor defends decision to describe a psychopath as an alopecia suffer, not...

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Less than a week has gone by since a Daily Mail editor allegedly tried to defend his decision to relegate the Olympic Gold Medallist, who happens to have alopecia, to the back cover of...

Liberal elite should stop bullying Stalin says Daily Mail

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The Daily Mail has instructed its readers to avoid the film, The Death of Stalin. In an editorial piece the Mail said, "This film is not funny. It is little more than an attack,...

Gary Lineker to present MOTD in bejewelled jockstrap if BBC scrap gender pay gap

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Following the release of salaries of high profile staff at the BBC one of the highest paid stars has vowed to make a stand. Former England captain, TV presenter, people's Poet, sliced potato salesman and...

Further scandal as so called satirical page Southend News Network owners aren’t even Southern!

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In what is turning out to be a much dragged out saga of scandal after scandal from those jumped up meme thieves over at SNN comes further revelations as our offices at The Rochdale...

Katie Hopkins unearths link between Lego and Autism

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Katie Hopkins, lead reporter from the Daily Mail, claims she has discovered a link between children who use Lego and Autism Spectrum Disorder. Katie gloated as she explained her discovery. "I can't say too much at...

Daily Mail reveal African poverty is a load of old tosh

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The Daily Mail today have exclusively revealed that African poverty is rubbish and was invented by Oxfam as a way of making a quick buck. Mail journalist Sandra Hare, said "each year Oxfam raise...

Microsoft worker takes Apple to court

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Yesterday, a Microsoft employee allegedly got a dressing down from High Court judge, the Right Honorable Justice Antony Smyth-Tomkinson. The employee who we cannot name for legal reasons was serving on the jury in...
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