Health

Officials at the World Health Organisation have raised the threat level of a global pandemic to full alert.

Shedloads of stressed-out British nurses are leaving the profession because they are fed up with their working conditions and marginally better than national average pay, according to the Rochdale Nursing Council.    "Since hospitals have...

In an ironic twist that would give Alanis Morissette a run for her money, local Anti-Vaxx campaigner Tarquin O'Flerfer is reported to have a very messy carpet.  Rochdale Anti-Vaxxer Tarquin O'Flerfer is often in the...

A new kind of terrorism is trying to destroy the great American dream, according to the Trump Administration today. “Pre-existing conditions are trying to ruin this great nation,” said Trump's gob piece, Sean Spicer, “and...

Britain has decided to show its appreciation for the NHS by funding it properly.  The nation has made the decision that it doesn't matter what expensive treatment you and your insurers can personally afford...

A Rochdale man was praised for his bravery and selfless act of dedication this morning after he heroically battled through the worst cold he has ever had to show up for a meeting for...

NHS officials have confirmed reports that health minister Jeremy Hunt has been hacked. "Since his initial appointment as health minister in 2012 we have been working on the assumption that Hunt was a particularly pernicious form of malware,"...

We've all heard of the dreaded Man Flu in our time, but a team of scientists in Rochdale have finally catalogued the full effects. “The slightest unpleasant exertion could prove instantly fatal,” head researcher Dr...

The NHS is in crisis, dead bodies litter corridors and elderly people lie stranded, a trip hazard for nurses, and a health and safety nightmare. The Prime Minister has issued another five-point plan...

Amidst growing concern from the internet's top pseudo-scientists about the risks posed by mobile technology, yet another coal has been added to the fire. According to the prominent YouTuber Hope L'Scase, long-term exposure to massive...

The Conservative Party has released its newest manifesto pledge to increase A&E floor space in the 40 hospitals they are definitely not building, as well as ensuring 50,000 more coats for sick children to...

A Bolton man says he fears that 5 aside football pitch flood light is actually a secret 5G mast that will cause him to develop cancer. 38 year old Bill Board told us that...

Over a million Hobbits across The Shire including front line ring bearers and turnip farmers are expected to receive 6% pay increases, the Rochdale Herald has been told.

Emergency Services are at the point of absolute collapse this evening after millions tuned in to the BBC to watch the exit polls this evening without wearing protective eyewear and were blinded by David Dimbleby's...

do With temperatures hitting 30°C across the nation, dog owners have been warned to pay special attention to their four legged friends. Each year the RSPCA recieves dozens of complaints of animals locked in hot cars,...

The Government has this morning announced, it has begun the "pocket full of posies" phase of its Coronavirus plan. Spokesman Bill Board said, "We use the same system that was designed in the 17th century...