Sean Spicer to reform Spice Girls with former band-mate Paul Nuttall

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Disgraced former White House press spokesman Sean "Ginger" Spicer has announced that he plans to return to his original career as an air headed exponent of "girl power" with his former chart topping group. "The Spice Girls". Spicer...

Complete sadist buys 2 year old nephew a keyboard for Christmas

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A man from Rochdale has bought his nephew the gift of music for Christmas. Stan Still told us, "I've played in bands since I was 12 and think it's a great idea for kids to...

Dave Grohl invites Jeremy Corbyn to front a reformed Nirvana

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Foo Fighters frontman Dave Grohl has invited Labour Party leader Jeremy Corbyn to front a planned reformation of his former band Nirvana. Speaking to the Rochdale Herald's weekly music supplement, Grohl confirmed that he...

Theresa May to headline Latitude Festival

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Not to be outdone by Corbyn's appearance at Glastonbury last weekend, May hastily forms new band to perform at Latitude this July. In the kind of showbiz spat not seen since the Blur/Oasis feuding days...

Band at every live gig is having loads more fun than audience

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According to experts who have been to gigs every band in the world is definitely having more fun than the audience. "Standing ankle deep in urine next to strangers who smell of rolling tobacco and...

Corbyn popularity ratings soar after ZZ Top grant him keys to magic Hot Rod

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In what would at first glance appear to be a complete and utter ripoff of an Onion article dating back to 1997, Labour Party Supremo Jeremy Corbyn has seen his popularity rating soaring to...

Ed Sheeran receives MBE for services to blandness

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Ed Sheeran was clearly chuffed to receive his MBE for services to blandness, remarking, "I really don't know what to say, but it's a great honour." Sheeran has had a string of hits, although even his...

Simon Cowell’s stairs win Brit Award for outstanding contribution to music industry

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Simon Cowell’s stairs have received a Brit Award for their outstanding contribution to the music industry after the reality TV star was found unconscious at the bottom of them, it has been announced. Judd Jim...

Fatboy Kim to re-release his mix of Radioactivity

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In a move to hail his comeback, the king of hereditary Marxist dictators, Kim Young Un aka Fatboy Kim, has announced a rehashing of his old remix hit "Radioactivity". His latest bid to burn up...

Manilow ditches piano for oboe

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In a shock move American pianist singer songwriter Barry Manilow has announced that he is abandoning the piano in favour of the oboe. Manilow said Thursday that while he enjoyed a good session fingering the...

Being a Liberal Democrat is not a sin claims Elton John

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The ageing singer and renowned diva famous for her tantrums, Mariah Carey, asked Elton John about his views on the struggling political party at a celebrity bash in London, The Herald can exclusively reveal. The...

BBC at a loss to explain low ratings for “Bantmeister” Grimshaw

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BBC bosses are completely at a loss to explain why Nick Grimshaw's BBC Radio 1 breakfast show has suffered its biggest drop in ratings since RAJAR began collecting data in 1992. Grimshaw, who has...

Radiohead settle copyright spat over Remoaners’ moaning and whining

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Radiohead have settled their claims that Remain voters have stolen all the moaning and whining directly from their back catalogue. Immediately after bringing an end to their saga involving Lana Del Rey, the former decent...

Beautiful South Issue Product Recall Over “Song for Whomever”

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Paul Heaton of The Beautiful South has apologised to fans and recalled all recordings after a significant grammatical error came to light on "Song for Whoever". In a press statement, Paul said he was mortified...

A-ha Star In Blaze Nightmare

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A source close to 80’s Norwegian heartthrob Morten Harket, of synthpop sensations A-ha, has confirmed that the housewives’ favourite was rushed to hospital last week following a blaze at the house in Oslo he...

X distances itself from factor

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For over a decade, the "talent" show that has built false hope in thousands and eroded the entertainment values of millions has been hit by wave after wave of controversy and suspicion. The...
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