Gerry Anderson to Return as String Puppet

Die-hard Thunderbirds fans are celebrating the surprise announcement that Gerry Anderson is to headline the upcoming Cromer 60s Festival. North Norfolk District Council broke the news on Twitter that the creator of the cult 60s...

Man who’s ‘sick of reboots’ stops watching them

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A man who claims that reboots of movies shouldn't be allowed because they always ruin the originals has stopped watching them. Trevor Sallis, an office manager from Basingstoke, said; "They need to leave stuff alone....

Band Aid 2016 to raise Buckingham Palace repair costs

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A new version of 'Do they Know is Christmas?' has been released in time for the Christmas number one top spot. The track by Bob Geldof and Midge Ure is the latest of many releases...

Emmy Awards honour pale minorities

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Rami Malek has won the Emmy Award for best leading actor in a drama. He is the first minority actor to win in 18 years. "We're very proud to show our appreciation for ethnic talent,"...

Russians say Donald Trump and Mr Blobby never seen in room together

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Russian intelligence leaked today reveal that current and soon to be impeached American president Donald Trump has a very suspicious past. “We look into all our allies,” said Sergi Vasilev, former KGB killer and advisor...

Outrage as Dawn French confirmed for lead role in The Diane Abbot Story

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Anti-racism campaigners were up in arms Wednesday following the news that Dawn French has been chosen to play the lead role in the upcoming biopic "Fibonacci - The Diane Abbot Story". Anti racism groups criticised...

Man ‘still hip’ because he likes new bands like Radiohead

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Derek Brasshouse, 54, an accountant in Rochdale Borough Council's swimming pool department, considers himself to be still 'with it' because he enjoys new bands like Radiohead and the Foo Fighters. He told the Herald...

Bloke who knocked Ed Sheeran off bike given MBE for services to music industry

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The man who ran over Ed Sheeran and broke his arm will receive an MBE in the new year’s honours list, it has been revealed. Police officers and government officials set about identifying the perpetrator...

Rochdale man kicked off Great British Menu

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Local high fat enthusiast and walking cardiac arrest Wayne Bucket who inexplicably made it to the finals of Great British Menu, has been voted off the show.  The show pits the country's top chefs against...

Theresa May to appear from Pyramid in Glastonbury

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Conservative leader to introduce those monks from Doctor Who on the main stage as Michael Eavis pours away his cider and looks accusingly at the bottle. Theresa May will appear in a giant Pyramid during...

Rochdale Christmas light turn on will be a Britain First

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This year's celebrity flicker of Rochdale's Christmas light will be none other than high flying anti-Muslim racist bigots and all round general socialites, Paul Golding and his sidekick Jayda Fransen. In a night that's sure...

Mike Pence attends Broadway musical by mistake

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Vice-President elect Mike Pence was roundly booed after he attended a performance of Broadway musical ‘Hamilton’ entirely by accident.

Crystal Maze to return as literally no ideas left

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The Crystal Maze is set to return our screens, again; "The barrel has no bottom. There's nothing left to scrape anymore. This is it." Said a distraught Paul Whittle, a Channel 4 veteran Producer with...

I wish it could be Brexit everyday

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When the pounds begins to fall and economic growth begins to stall It puts a great big smile on a remainer’s face If you dive into despair And want to cover up your head Don't you lock...

Local man in critical condition after accidentally hearing Vanessa Feltz on the radio

A local man is in a critical but stable condition at Rochdale General Infirmary after accidentally driving off a bridge into the River Roch this afternoon. Steve Dickinson (39 and a half) was on his...

Local Entrepreneur Makes Big Hit On Dragon’s Den

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Local businessman Vinnie 'Fingers' McPherson entered the big league in the world of high finance today when his appearance on TV's popular Dragon's Den show took him from pitch to rich. "I love doing this show" a...
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