Education

There was fantastic news for around 52% of the country today, as the famous School of Hard knocks officially announced their brand new subsidiary nursery 'the Kindergarten of Common Sense' will open from 2020. The...

School sex education classes are rubbish and should be replaced by episodes of Love Island it has been decided. Justine Greening said, "Learning to draw the reproductive organs is pretty pointless from the point of...

In a shock announcement this morning, that surprised no one, a spokes-stool for Isis (other names are available) claimed credit for the proposed funding changes to schools in England. "Our education policy sub-committee has...

The University of Life's School of Law is under investigation today after a study found that 98% of its graduates don't understand the basic principles of the law. Chief Inspector Bill Board told us, "The...

Students across the country celebrated today as they received the exam results needed to springboard them into a lifetime of insurmountable debt and soul-crushing penury. Thousands of 18 year olds excitedly opened their results envelopes...

Scientists have revealed that significantly lower brain function can lead to being a footballer. Researchers said they had identified "significantly lower levels of brain function" as a common factor amongst many footballers who, the study...

Civil servants and politicians from a wide range of governmental departments are throwing their weight behind a Department of Education proposal to create a highly-specialised degree course in Hindsight. "Everyone knows that after every disaster...