Crime

A woman has been killed by a man, make sure you use passive voice, the article is going to be about the woman This article is for the use of tabloid writers when a woman...

This seemed to be the headline that the Daily Mirror were fruitlessly alluding to in their article about a condom found in some woods in Maidenhead today. The Daily Mirror are pretty shameless when it...

Paul Golding, hero of the Free British Peoples and shiny-faced wankpuffin, has told Britain Furst colleagues that it turns out prisons are not "Butlins holiday camps for Pakis" after all. The revelation came as Mr...

Police were called yesterday afternoon after a large group of women were caught flouting the controversial "Burkini Ban" on Rochdale's world famous Stansfield Beach. Members of the public walking their dogs were distressed to see...

A study carried out by some of the country's top criminologists has highlighted a surprising correlation between people with pixelated faces and a predisposition to criminal activity. Professor Robyn Banks of Rochdale Community College told...

A former chocolate delivery man broke into dozens of women’s homes over a 50 year period leaving unwanted chocolates and creepy handwritten notes. Gary Myers, 76 from Middleton in Lancashire, was jailed for 30 months after...

Police call handlers up and down the country have been inundated with calls from concerned citizens in relation to a bizzare new craze in which people stalk the streets dressed as a clown. Caroline Blunkett,...

Aging entertainer Winnie The Pooh is in the headlines again as yet another scandal dogs him. The bear, who was linked to a series of historical allegations uncovered by Operation Toytree, is accused in this...

A Rochdale man is in a critical condition after he was thrown out of the third floor window of his office kitchenette. Mr Dickinson (39 and a half) fell almost 40 feet after a colleague...

Top US officials today confirmed that security company G4S have been granted the contract to oversee all operations in the somewhat controversial detention centre Guantanamo Bay. A spokesman for Guantanamo told us today that they...

Peter McCallister, has been found dead at the foot of his stairs within his home 671 Lincoln Avenue, Winnetka, Illinois. The Police are treating the death of father of five as suspicious. Detective Paul Simmons...

Following a recent spate of shoplifting, Rochdale's Littleborough branch of Tesco Express came under fire today for apparently launching a dramatic new zero-tolerance 'stop and search' policy. It is understood that the introduction of the...

Police have closed access to Battenburg street in Middleton today as the investigation into an altercation at the Middleton tea rooms has left three people in critical condition. Police report they have one woman in...

The United States was relieved to hear that the explosion that ripped through NYC earlier in the week wasn't the act of a lone wolf or somebody with a mental illness but probably a...

Reports are coming in of a civil disturbance in London which has seen a mob of almost 40,000 white people chase a small group of black men through central London. Police and large numbers of...

Tommy Robinson has been voted HMP Hull's softest mouth award. Mr Robinson will be awarded the prize in a ceremony to be held on the roof of the prison. One insider told us, "Tommy is already...