Crime

The Conservative Party has surprised many by including a return of the death penalty in their election manifesto. Explaining the eye catching manifesto promise, Jacob Rees-Mogg said the following, "The country is over populated and the...

After being alerted to the shockingly high number of deaths caused by toddlers shooting their parents, President Trump signed the legally binding order yesterday that prevents all children under four from entering the United States, "Until...

Rochdale Crown Court today saw the conclusion of the now infamous "Scatter Cushion Slaying" case. The accused, Abraham Smith (54), from the Sink Estate pleaded guilty to stabbing his wife of 22 years 67 times...

News broke a short while ago that Donald Trump's celebrity star had been smashed to bits on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. A Mexican man carrying a sledgehammer was arrested shortly after the event but...

There was shock and disbelief amongst Rochdale motorists yesterday as the police went out and caught a murderer, instead of stopping poor innocent speed enthusiasts. Events unfolded during rush hour yesterday when police observed an...

Leaked Home Office document reveals correlation between law enforcement and criminality. A fall in police numbers is likely to have contributed to a rise in serious violent crime, according to a leaked Home Office document...

An entire top shelf of global mass murderers have signalled they plan to emerge from hiding following the announcement by US president Donald trump that he has - complete power to pardon anyone, anywhere,...

The Home Office has confirmed that British criminals will now be allowed to commit crimes in a 'specific and limited way' following the government's recent abandonment of the rule of international law. As long as...

Hundreds of residents of Nelson Mandela House in Peckham have been evacuated after 20,000 Litres of highly flammable, luminous yellow paint was found stockpiled in one of the flats. The flat is thought to belong...

Following several nights of violence and riots across the United States in response to the death of George Floyd US police departments are said to be considering radical changes to the way they murder...

A dickhead has died in a karmic avalanche after breaking into the home of a 78 year old.

Leaked Home Office document shows that the high concentration of police at the entrance to Parliament could lead to unprecedented levels of stop and search, hindering MPs' entrance and exit from Westminster. A spike in...

Following the largest known brawl on the streets of Britain in the post war period, Police have been given extra powers to "get tough" in South East London after a huge fight involving more...

Photographs have emerged of armed police confronting a diver on Rochdale's now notorious Stansfield Beach. In this most recent effort to enforce new laws forbidding outfits that cover the head and body, police forced...

The 49-year-old was today offered the position at the Old Bailey after an exhaustive selection process. Police say Choudary will now have a captive audience of followers in the UK. The judge, who described Choudary...

In a shock announcement this morning, that surprised no one, a spokes-stool for Isis (other names are available) claimed credit for the proposed funding changes to schools in England. "Our education policy sub-committee has...