Celebrity

Hollywood bimbo, Gerard Butler has been hospitalised with anaphylactic shock his agent has revealed. Butler, injected 13 vials of bee venom in an attempt to prevent muscle ache following filming. A spokesman for Butler said, "Gerard...

In an exclusive interview with The Rochdale Herald the former Eastern European 'model' and wife of President Elect Donald Trump revealed her favourite iPod playlist.

Good Morning Britain producers made the controversial choice today of asking a divisive, opinionated, loud mouth to appear on their show. Piers Morgan was reportedly shocked by the request, as that's already his job. However,...

Residents of Rochdale were battening down the hatches and taking positions in bunkers as the Angel of Death Orla Guerin came to visit the town. The award winning BBC journalist is normally only to be...

In a ground-breaking move, career punchist and all round feckin' lad Conor McGregor has revealed his plans to offer professor Stephen Hawking a game of "da physics" just hours after his piss-takingly lucrative defeat...

Both the scientific and pseudo-scientific communities express a modicum of shock as tousle-haired synth-pop supremo and thinking housewives favourite Professor Brian Cox is sworn in as the new president of Flat Earth Society. Establishment figureheads...

Gravel-voiced guitar stalwart, Chris Rea, is still trying to get home for Christmas this year, after the 'Road to Hell' star's head gasket went at Charnock Richards Services. Rea, who could have sworn he had...

IReports from Belmarsh are that Stephen Yaxley-Lennon, the tiny provocateur with the Timmy Mallet inspired pseudonym has been fisted.  One fist from a pensioner was all it took to send him to dreamland. We understand...

2016 has seen the death of pretty much every famous person you like. We interviewed Death yesterday to find out why: "I KNOW PEOPLE ARE PRETTY DAMNED MAD AT ME RIGHT NOW," said the Grim...

With great regret, surgeons at Kings College London have released a statement confirming the successful operation to remove a rogue dog toy squeaker that had been mysteriously lodged in Jimmy Carr's windpipe for years. One...

The big eared flower whisperer was spotted earlier today looking at thrones and sceptres in the London department store it has been reported. "He was like a big kid." Said onlooker Cecil B. Mortadellow "Sitting on...

The late John Noakes, it has been revealed, made his own coffin in preparation for his death. Exactly when he did this is not known, it’s only known that he made it earlier. It’s well...

Meryl Streep has offered an olive branch to US President-elect Donald Trump following their Twitter spat earlier this week.

The Turner Prize committee has announced that this year's prize will be awarded to Chris Grayling for his dystopian work, "Railway Timetable in May". A committee member told us, "This work is profound. There is...

Controversy struck Hollywood today when news broke that a new high budget movie might not feature Bendable Cramplebitch. "2017 is a brand new year," said Hollywood pundit Selina Pastiche, "and it's time that not every...

Three days ago the former glamour model Katie Price, also known as Libya, attempted to last a whole day without doing anything to publicise herself. Unfortunately, the attempt failed spectacularly when Katie tweeted her...