Celebrity

Far right midget Tommy Robinson has announced plans to launch a Ceefax page following news that he has been banned from both Facebook and Instagram for being a racist toolkit. "Ceefax is the perfect home...

In an official statement released this afternoon, God has apologised for the ongoing massacre of talent this year, blaming it on recent pressure to beef up Heaven’s on-site entertainment. The statement, published on the Vatican...

Television and radio opinion blower Jeremy Vine was subjected to a road rage incident while cycling to work in London yesterday.  He was followed and accosted by the driver of a car who believed he...

Following numerous occasions where he was always the bridesmaid, Nigel Farage is now delighted to be at the top of his tree in his chosen field. After the announcement that Prince Philip has retired from...

Prince Harry has a new job as a Prince Harry look-alike in Canada. His new boss told us, "There's a lot of attention on Prince Harry at the moment. With that attention then demand for...

Theologists now agree that diminutive Josh Widdicombe is not the Second Coming of Our Lord Jesus Christ. Speculation had run rife that, having been born of a well-known virgin, pint-sized Josh was almost certainly the...

President Trump used his recent address to the UN Security Council to threaten ‘rocket man’ Sir Elton John, who he accuses of attempting to develop nuclear weapons which could reach the mainland United States....

U2 lead singer, Bono has announced that most of U2's songs are about his need to avoid tax. Bono is alleged to have told the owner of a Lithuanian shopping centre that a Lithuanian shopping...

In an exclusive interview with The Rochdale Herald the former Eastern European 'model' and wife of President Elect Donald Trump revealed her favourite iPod playlist.

Some bloke that you sort of remember from the 1990's but you can't really remember why has stepped up his irrelevance by announcing a new name for himself to his Twitter following of junior...

In a ground-breaking move, career punchist and all round feckin' lad Conor McGregor has revealed his plans to offer professor Stephen Hawking a game of "da physics" just hours after his piss-takingly lucrative defeat...

Celebrities will be receiving goodie bags at the Oscars with kits for collecting and preserving DNA in them. The goodie bags, given to Oscar winners and other attendees usually contain free gifts such as holidays,...

During a performance in Derbyshire last night Miranda Hart fell over and no one laughed. "It just wasn't funny" said super fan Ewan King who attended the show. "Usually when she falls over I'm in...

IReports from Belmarsh are that Stephen Yaxley-Lennon, the tiny provocateur with the Timmy Mallet inspired pseudonym has been fisted.  One fist from a pensioner was all it took to send him to dreamland. We understand...

This year's celebrity flicker of Rochdale's Christmas light will be none other than high flying anti-Muslim racist bigots and all round general socialites, Paul Golding and his sidekick Jayda Fransen. In a night that's sure...

Apparently Meat Loaf isn't dead and has a new album coming out, on account of still being alive. The big breasted Fight Club singer apparently didn't die between recording his last album and the one...