Business

Our Finance and Business correspondent, Scott Zsalt, was livid today after failing to get support from a major bank due to the fallout from the UK's decision to exit the EU. "I was bleeding furious...

Chocolatiers are responding to Theresa May's ire this afternoon after "Great" was dropped from "Great Britain " in a number of confectionary products. From now on "Great Britain's Parliament Boiled Lollies" will simply be "Britain's...

In a statement today, popular British high street book retailer Waterstones announced all books with post-apocalyptic themes will be moved to the current affairs section. CEO James Daunt said “Customers have become increasingly disillusioned by...

The world's biggest online auction site has today announced plans to close every Sunday to give all their low paid workers a much needed day off. Currently trading 365 days a year, 7 days...

In a surprise move, it was revealed today that the new £50 note is to be made of foie gras. The announcement comes as a double blow to angry vegetarians, who found out that the...

A globally devastating nuclear war could prove to be a massive boost for post Brexit British industry, the UK's Secretary of State for International Trade, former Secretary of State for Defence, and enthusiastic poultry...

The iconic British pottery company which was established in 1815 made the announcement yesterday. Managing Director, Timothy Clay, said; "Toby Jugs were always a popular item and with the current political climate we thought now was...

Three Tesco directors are in court on fraud charges. The food-fancying fanatic (alleged) fraudsters have, it seems, been cooking the books as well as cooking all manner of tempting produce. The whiff of bullshit...

Supermarket giant Waitrose today announced the appointment of Alex Bell as the new Head of Egg Hiding. Proudly the UK market leader in un-helpful shop lay-out and product camouflage, Waitrose have moved quickly in the...

A controversial piece of performance theatre is set to premiere at Rochdale's Gracie Fields Theatre shortly before Christmas this year: Director Sheldon Jervis announced plans to open the 'experimental and hard hitting but, ultimately fun,...

Some people in the Conservative Party don’t have blind and unquestioning faith in dogmatic free market bullshit, a rich bloke who charges people extortionate rates for power has claimed. Iain Conn (honestly, that’s not a...

With the rise and rise of Facebook, E-Cards and Internet banking the way we celebrate important events with family and friends is fast changing.  Nowadays it's all too easy to text or tweet a birthday...

People are being urged to buy nuclear submarines as part of a strategy to reduce the effects of poverty in Barrow-in-Furness. The call comes on a day when it was revealed that there are instances...

As the nights draw in and the last of the pre-winter rituals of ‘Children Demanding Sweets by Menaces’ night, ‘Throwing Fireworks at Cats’ night and ‘Outing Traitors Not Wearing a Red Flower’ day are...

Online megatrader Amazon has issued a cease and desist order against the Moon, obliging the satellite to end its intended traverse between the Sun and the earth, lawyers acting for the company announced. According to...

A couple from Rochdale insist that the multi level marketing scheme they're pushing is not a scam and that anybody can retire within 5 years. "This JuicelifeHealthwonder Plus opportunity is totally different from all those...