Weather

Motorists are being advised to avoid the M62 after reports of a dozen hungry rugby players from Burnley eating the corpses of stranded motorists near Ainley Top. The Daily Express reported cars were stranded for...

Confirmed reports are in that a Northern Dad in Lancashire has put the central heating on. Airports throughout the UK have been closed, all trains have been cancelled and the army has been put on...

Google breaks under the strain of millions of Britons preparing their excuses for work on Monday morning. As millions of us check up on the exact symptoms of sunstroke, the search engine has given up...

Rochdale Council are to consider a plan to colour snow to make it more representative of the cultural mix of the area. The Rochdale Multi-Cultural Planning Group have put forward the idea because they are worried...

A Geordie is being criticised by social media users for posting an Instagram photo of her wearing a jacket during a night out on Tyneside. 26-year-old hairdresser, Cheryl Weedy, revealed her new look on Thursday...

Children around the UK have confirmed that they don't want to build another bloody snowman. With rain, sleet, snow and more bloody awful weather forecast all over the country children have unanimously agreed that they'd...

As Storm Ciara batters it's way across the country we at The Rochdale Herald ask, is the EU to blame? Bill Board, Wetherspoons Raconteur. "Of course it is. The EU and George Soros are trying to...

With temperatures plummeting across the British Isles, many patriotic politicians are complaining at their lack of opportunities to escape the country. Conservative Politicians Jeremy Hunt, Liam Fox, Michael Gove, and David Davis were spotted walking...

The annual outing of Facebook Meteorologists is in full swing. Facebook servers are under severe strain from the pictures of the first inclement weather of the season. It seems in spite of it being cold...

The Met Office has issued an amber warning for apocalyptic snow and ice overnight after a Northerner was overheard speculating that it might be an idea to get his big coat out of the...

Drivers and commuters are facing another difficult day of delays and difficult journeys across the UK after a second night of freezing temperatures.  The Met Office has extended yellow warnings for snow and ice until...

Town centres are chock full of topless, pasty white fat pricks for some reason according to sources. For some reason thousands upon thousands of fat men have forgotten to get dressed for the second day...

Men have been asked to put some clothes on because they really shouldn't be in the pub half naked.  Professor Gareth Linkeker of the Institute of Instutes said: "It really is time for men to...

The recent weather worries in Cumbria worsened this morning, after 12 minutes of unseasonable partial sunshine exposed a fell walker to lethal levels of the rare nerve agent Vitamin D. With local post temperatures soaring to...

With the annual two inches of snow set to cause havoc across the country again experts have advised people to stop whining and get used to the conditions.  Rochdale Community University's Department of Scrapping and...

With expectations that this month's sweltering weather could become the norm a health strategy is urgently required to protect the thousands of people who work from home from sunstroke, a House of Commons report...