National News

A Wetherspoons customer has been forced to drink a 4 pack of lager for breakfast today due to staff at his local Wetherspoons being on strike. 64 year old Bill Board told us, "It's really...

BBC Breakfast has apologised after images of the gorilla Kumbuka, whose recent non-escape filled a slow news day, were shown on screen instead of Scottish number one, Nicola Sturgeon. Presenter Naga Munchetty was discussing what...

The old adage has it that we're never more than six feet away from a Conservative Party leadership candidate? It's a saying that seems almost deliberately contrived to get a reaction, but isn't exactly clear...

A spokesman for Southern Rail confirmed to the Rochdale Herald that in view of the anticipated two day delay the four minute warning given in advance of nuclear attacks would consequently be extended to 2,880 minutes.

Everyone in the world looked at each other and asked "what the hell" yesterday after the temerity of a former political leader's comments on Brexit displayed a stunning lack of self awareness. National Grid confirmed...

Disgraced pornography enthusiast, first class passenger, casual sext pest and Rochdale MP Simon 'Spanker' Danczuk is said to be "absolutely buzzing" that he's not the sleaziest MP this week after Keith Vaz, the former...

According to reports the British man who has learnt to speak a foreign language fluently is to be burnt at the stake on Tuesday. Lord Rosetta, High Court Judge, has told reporters that Justin Milhouse,...

Volunteers at the Rochdale City Centre Food Bank have described cheering up considerably after someone anonymously donated a large box of voodoo dolls in the shape of Conservative MP Jacob Rees-Mogg. Manager Emma Hubbard told...

A patio chair in Milnrow is bracing himself for an absolutely terrible few days after news that yet another storm with high winds is brewing. The white plastic chair, part of a set of four...

Reports are coming in that a cocker spaniel has had a perfectly reasonable and sensible reaction to somebody ringing the doorbell. The incident occurred when the eight-year-old black Cocker Spaniel called Graham heard the doorbell...

With the annual two inches of snow set to cause havoc across the country again experts have advised people to stop whining and get used to the conditions.  Rochdale Community University's Department of Scrapping and...

In what police are describing as a “significant” counter-terrorism operation, thirty nine bus seats were arrested today on suspicion of being involved in jihadist activities. It is believed that police were alerted at around 8am...

Diane Abbott was resurrected this afternoon to speak to a journalist of sorts, on the BBC. Ms Abbott used one of her last possible outings as a politician of um, importance, to offer the...