National News

Arron Banks from Leave.EU has today clarified that he didn't finance the vote leave campaign that the Electoral Commission has found guilty of overspending during the EU referendum campaign. He is actually being investigated...

A 4 year old black and white cat from Twickenham has told its owner Steve that "It's pretty fucking unlikely that I will be putting up with this shit much longer" after a 2nd...

Theresa May has dismissed claims that she met and briefed Czech Wheat Supremacists during the Cold War years as a "ridiculous smear". According to a report, the Conservative leader held three meetings with a "farmer"...

A man arrested for what police have described as a "horrific anti-Semitic attack" on the London Underground on Friday has said he was just reading the Labour Party manifesto to some children. Counsel for the...

A bloke from Rochdale is being praised as some kind of wizard today after getting a straw into a Capri Sun on his effort. Ryan Griffiths, known as Beardy to his mates, pulled off the...

Passengers from both sides of the Pennines travelling on a train between Manchester and Leeds are united in agreement that a young, overly keen recruitment consultant on the phone sounds like a bit of...

The BBC's Question Time recording was cut short on Thursday after an audience member passed out from boredom during the recording. Filming of the BBC One show in Colchester town hall, in Essex, was suspended...

Ketamine dealers nationwide have moved to distance themselves from Katie Hopkins, it has been confirmed. The news came following the upholding of a complaint by the Independent Press Standards Organisation made by Hopkins into recent...

In a bid to balance the left leaning opinions of Mayor Magid Magid, Sheffield City Council have unveiled a new road in the south of the city which has been named after Right-Wing commentator,...

The Welsh national Assembly has announced plans for Cardiff to be available in colour from 2022. Cardiff will be the first City in Wales to offer full coverage in colour. The announcement was made...

The first shipment of thoughts and prayers has arrived in Kensington to be distributed amongst those left homeless by the fire that destroyed Grenfell Tower one week ago.

British pensioners are gearing up for this weekend’s festival of remembrance by remembering their contrived war stories. Many, like 78 year old Justin Case, spent a great deal of the war throwing up, pooing into...

BMW has confirmed a second recall of hundreds of thousands of vehicles from UK roads in a year, due to problems with the cars faulty drivers. The German car giant said it was recalling 312,000...

The Government is to tell young people that they should move away from urban centers in order to pay less rent. With rents increasing in many areas where jobs are plentiful rent is now taking...

Hamelin Town Hall has announced today that they have struck a deal with Anna Soubry to end their problems with flocks of Gammons in the beleaguered town. The deal, of which neither side will...

The United Kingdom was very giddy to learn today that there are just 3,617 parliamentary sex scandals left to be revealed before Christmas. Santa Claus has already put the finishing touches to the naughty and...