National News

Members of a mob that smashed up an ambulance as part of the post match celebrations yesterday were within their democratic rights according to Brexiteers. Cliff Edge said, "If you look at the footage the...

Brexiteers have demanded the Government grant settled status to cognitive dissonance. The demands come as many companies that employ lots of people in Britain threaten to turn project fear into project reality. Brexiteer Cliff Edge...

Ryanair CEO, and Doctor Who Super Fan, Michael O'Leary reaffirms airline's commitment to the BBC series Budget airline Ryanair continues to work round the BBC ban on advertising with boss Michael O'Leary's cunning strategy.  This...

A Rochdale family who were due to fly with Ryanair to Alicante this week have had their flight cancelled. The family have told the Herald that contrary to what would be expected, they don't see...

You may remember that last year we partnered with some other brilliant satirists to run a Secret Santa for underprivileged children. Well it really, really took off and created a life of its own. The...

A Rochdale Man who was running dangerously low on half price Pringle socks from TK Maxx has praised friends and relatives for stepping in and buying him almost two dozen pairs for Christmas.

The whole of the UK has united behind the Home Secretary's decision to deport anybody who squeezes the teabag before removing it from the mug. People who squeeze teabags have been recognised as a threat...

A journalist at a Sheffield local newspaper has admitted that an entire article published in Friday's edition of the Sheffield Councilpleaser was constructed entirely from the frothings of the readership on the publication's forum...

Two Rochdale conspiracy theorists have been telling the Herald that they've come to the conclusion that nobody is in charge. The pair, known only as X-file and Opus Dei to protect their identity from Government...

A woman sitting on the roof of a runaway train full of burning horseshit has said she is "proving the doubters wrong" after not crashing yet. The train, which is mostly full of burning manure...

A threat to riot if Britain failed to leave the EU on 31st October has failed after branches of Wetherspoons opened as usual this morning. Would-be rioter Stan Still told us, "I was all up...

It's National Cream Tea Day, which means across the nation the fine china is taken off the Welsh dresser and selections of finger sandwiches and cakes are displayed for a savoury and sweet afternoon...

Disgraced veteran mouser Larry the Downing Street Cat on Friday admitted to allegations of sexual misconduct that were levelled against him earlier in the week. In the statement, which was shared with The Rochdale Herald,...

A bloke in a pub has claimed that the Duchess of Cambridge’s unborn child is his, reports have confirmed. Unemployed Willie Eckerslike, 42, from Rochdale, was overheard telling a crowd of people in the pub...

A Rochdale man woke up Monday morning to his Eye of the Tiger alarm clock, punched the air, and said let’s get to work. Trevor Duckworth, 43, was full of vigour, after a brilliant weekend....

A 53 year-old man killed in a gigantic pants fire at his home in Upper Wally in Oxfordshire has been described by former colleagues as a complete prat. A second person, believed to be a...