National News

The Government is warning that Coronavirus could be more deadly than Iain Duncan Smith. The warning comes as the number of cases in Britain doubled to 8. A spokesman said, "When discussing the deadliness of...

The Women's Institute are lobbying  the Health Secretary demanding that Viagra only be available through prescription and after consultation with a Doctor. Recent changes bought in by the medical watchdog, MHRA, mean Viagra can now...

Dads are said to be giddy with excitement at the news that it's only one more sleep until they can start their Christmas shopping. Dads around the country are thought to be considering thinking about...

Allegations have recently arisen that Conservative MP and incumbent minister of the cabinet office, Damian Green MP had been browsing and downloading 'thousands' of pornographic images on his work computers. The allegations that the MP...

Andy Edge, a former Stockport English Defence League leader convicted of violent disorder at a 2014 protest, was pictured giving the thumbs up with UKIP's NHS hating, vile hate preacher, Paul Nuttall. In a statement, an...

A recent survey of lobotomised knuckle dragging fuck nuggets revealed that they are fighting against the values that they themselves hold most dear. We caught up with one of the  participants, Baz 'Smiff', a UKIP...

Following reports that the composer of the 1980's Shake 'n' Vac advertising jingle has died, a source close to his family has confirmed that his ashes will be scattered across a carpet by friends and...

The Queen is said to be shocked that her accountants have invested heavily in Los Pollos Hermanos. The food chain, seen in the TV show, Breaking Bad is a front for a money laundering...

People who work from home are all looking oddly suntanned for people who work at their desks for eight hours a day, leading experts have confirmed. Following extensive research by experts at the Institute of...

Sir John Chilcot has stunned the world by stating again that the Pope is catholic and so it seems is Britain's greatest wartime leader Tony Blair. The surprising rediscovery was made in an interview with...

A small building firm in Lancashire has become the first builder in the history of the industry to finish a job on time and under budget. Local builder Bob, who is known to his friends...

A Balmoral based deer has spoken out after being run down by the heir to the British throne. Dougal Hornhead spoke to the Herald after seeking veterinary care. "Aye, I wiz jist out for a run...

Nigel Farage MP (just kidding) has appeared on BBC Breakfast TV to deny any links to the Russian Government. In an interview Mr Farage MP (just kidding) said, "? ????? ??????? ????????????? ??????? ????? ???????????...

The British Press had better be nice to Prince Harry's new girlfriend Meghan Markle or we could end up with "a bat-shit crazy old boot for a Princess instead". The warning comes from Bert...

The parents of an adorable baby in the borough of Rochdale were dismayed to learn today that statistically it is very likely that he will grow up to become a "massive bellend". Steve and Barbara...

Authors of satirical magazines and websites across the globe have confirmed that reality has now overtaken the worst piss-taking they could ever imagine. "Donald Trump has made all my efforts redundant" confides Daily Mash contributor...