National News

As the National Audit Office revealed that homelessness of all kinds has doubled over the past 6 years, a Tory spokesman has confirmed that they are very pleased with the results. At a press conference,...

The Tower of London was last night illuminated by the light of 10,000 small fires as Aaron Banks and officials from Leave.EU burnt loads of documents. One onlooker, Bill Board said, "At first we thought...

Storm Ophelia is battering the UK and Ireland with gusts up to 80mph. After a report of a northern man tutting at a flurry of leaves and zipping his coat up, the Met Office...

Besieged Labour Party leader Jeremy Corbyn has generously given the MP's in the Labour Party the opportunity to vote with their conscience rather than his in tonight's vote on the Trident missile system. The Trident...

All nations attending Treaty discussions are only allocated one car parking space. UK plans for "Brexit" have hit the buffers after Westminster Civil Servants finally got round to Item 2 on the Brexit Committee agenda...

A bloke who only wears pink shirts now is insisting that they are all the rage having washed all of his white clothes with a single red sock. Steve Dickinson let a single red sock...

You just get such a sense of the hardship, and how it could be addressed by just taking a little more personal responsibility After taking part in a sponsored sleep out, investment banker Yiwen Kerr...

A bloke’s glowing description of himself on his CV definitely does not bear any resemblance to observations of his personality, it has emerged. During a recent interview Graham Jones, an accountant from Leicester, was asked...

A teenager from Burnley has saved an absolute fortune on Father's Day by having all seven of her children with the same bloke. Kayleigh-Leigh Leigh-Ann Leigh came up with the money saving solution several years...

Scientists from Rochdale Community University have proven conclusively that Superdry jumpers are, in fact, just a normal amount of dry like all other jumpers. The multi-million pound study was funded with a grant from the...

Conservative Party Central Office have announced this week that new members will be recieve a variety of benefits including discounts at Michael Gove's new chain of restaurants "Kentucky Fried Pheasant." The first restaurant is due...

Ordinary, innocent Britons, along with many who voted Leave, were faced today with the horrendous realisation that the much vaunted 'Brexit Bonus' was likely to be 'having Michael Gove as Prime Minister'. Ordinary, innocent Briton...

Experts are tonight warning that Britain's stoner community could run out of things to talk about in as little as 24 hours. The warnings come amidst rumours that the Government is considering legalising cannabis. Dr...

The BBC has banned presenters from using the term, "Happy Holidays" as it offends Christians. Rochdale resident Stan Still told us, "This is PC rubbish gone mad. What's wrong with saying, "Happy Holidays"? This is...

Britain's most patriotic patriots have led calls for everyone in the country to be forced to inject themselves with poppies. The push for proper respect for our troops has secured backing from across the...

Are you hanging loads of poppy's on the wall? Is your granny telling you stories about fighting in the Second World War despite only being 74? Have you finished all your shopping? Have you got your gifts...