National News

As part of her Key Note speech to the Conservative Party Conference today Theresa May is set to announce this explosive coup for the Torys & Brexiteers - Peter Andre is set to turn...

The clock in the car is said to be absolutely over the moon that the clocks have gone forward or back again.

An SNP insider has revealed that Nicola Sturgeon's repeated use of the phrase 'Will of the Scottish People' is actually a reference to her long-term imaginary friend and not the democratic wishes of the...

Over 1.8 million Britons have signed a petition to deny a State Visit to nylon-haired snake-oil salesman and part-time President, Donald Trump.  The petition insists that Trump's racism, sexism and general vulgarity would cause embarrassment...

Middle class mums all over the Home Counties are being credited with a reversal to the effects of Global Warming after tens of thousands of them drove enormous Range Rovers to their local Waitrose...

A group of parents is said to have been left "absolutely fummin (sic)" after a child turned up to a local Halloween party dressed as a mosque. The child, understood to be a seven year-old...

Esther McVey, a former television presenter and now a falling star in Westminster, relishes her career - but admits to no regrets in her personal life Esther McVey is used to gossip. When she was...

A spokesman for Southern Rail confirmed to the Rochdale Herald that in view of the anticipated two day delay the four minute warning given in advance of nuclear attacks would consequently be extended to 2,880 minutes.

Windsor-- Following complaints of aggressive begging on the streets of Windsor today Prince Harry was among the vagrants swept up in a Thames Police sting operation. The Prince was amongst dozens of beggars on the...

More than 300 people have been arrested as part of an operation to prevent people who aren’t wearing a poppy to be seen in public today.

Media tycoon and ancient demonic scrotum, Rupert Murdoch has broken viral photo editor FaceApp, attempting to see what his face would look like in 40 years. Developers say the app was "not designed to undertake...

Racists reacted with predictable denial today when faced with the reality that the punishments they frequently recommend for those seeking asylum, immigrants and generally anyone with more than a two day sun-tan are identical...

A number of white nationalist groups have joined together in a boycott against the post-Thanksgiving consumer event known as Black Friday. Black Friday has been an annual event in the US for many years and...

In a surprise press release, the Treasury have today revealed a novel initiative to bolster funding for cash-starved Social Services. In the statement, Chancellor of the Exchequer, Rishi Sunak announced, "Following the outstanding achievement of...

The Rochdale Herald can exclusively confirm that David Blunkett is still blind. Mr Blunkett confirmed the findings of his most recent eye sight test earlier today. A spokesman told us, "Earlier today Mr Blunkett used...

Earthquake rescue teams from around the globe were told to stand down today after they descended en masse on Grimsby in Lincolnshire following reports of a massive humanitarian disaster. Search and Rescue teams from the...