National News

A man has told the Rochdale Herald that he's protecting the statue of Winston Churchill in Whitehall because, "You'd be speaking German if it wasn't for Churchill", before giving a Nazi salute. Retired football...

There are fears that up to 40% of millennials may never be able to have tedious home improvement conversations. Fewer and fewer people are able to own their own homes due to their fondness for...

Following the tragic death of a pedestrian knocked down by a driverless Uber vehicle, the taxi giant confirmed it would be consulting UK Government leaders on how to best deal with a completely driverless...

The white van man community has been under a great deal of pressure to apologise for one of them deliberately running over members of the public earlier this week. The entire van driving community...

One of Britain's leading self-proclaimed driving experts was kind enough to give the Herald some tips on how to drive safely in the snow. "Don't brake," said Fred Goodhead, North region sales director for Rochdale...

Today sees the probable introduction of the new “Walter Mitty” law, which will make it a criminal offence for any individual to pretend to be a military veteran by wearing medals they have not...

HRH the Duke Of Edinburgh to be decommissioned and scrapped after failing Health and Safety tests. Sad scenes at Buckingham Palace today as Prince Philip failed to pass the safety tests that are being carried...

Following news today that Prince William asked various drug users about their views on current drug laws, The Rochdale Herald was approached by a source close to royal. Well, a source who knows someone...

The Home Office has confirmed that British criminals will now be allowed to commit crimes in a 'specific and limited way' following the government's recent abandonment of the rule of international law. As long as...

International high IQ club Mensa has announced plans to scrap their famously difficult entrance exam, and replace it with a quest to negotiate Apple's music management software iTunes. Potential applicants to the club, whose membership makes...

The Rochdale Herald has learned that the Football Association have taken the unprecedented step of cancelling the 2018 FA Cup final. The move comes after it was revealed that Prince Harry's wedding will be on...

Sheffield City Council have declared a state of emergency after some residents reported taking a bath. Brightside resident Stand Still told us, "It's been 12 years since I last had a bath. I've been down...

The BBC has confirmed that should Jeremy Corbyn win the General Election he intends to sell peoples cats to fund a statue of Lenin. The report is confidential but has been seen by the BBC's...

Street pushers in Glasgow have been demanding up to £2 for a hit of Irn Bru as addicts have started stockpiling ahead of a planned change in recipe. Irn Bru, widely regarded by many as...

As the umpteenth series of the godawful fantasy franchise "Game of Thrones" is due to air on Murdoch-vision this week, those with more refined taste are bracing themselves for months of impenetrable chatter. "What did...

The Caribbean is facing more misery this week as islanders struggle to deal with the destruction left in the wake of Hurricane Irma. What has been described as a "monster fatberg" has been spotted in...