Defence

Amid growing concern and fears for public safety, illusionist extremists The Magic Circle have been deemed a threat to security and democracy. The so-called magicians have publicly recorded many of their barbaric acts including brutally...

The humble British Army entrenching tool, a short, squat, folding standard NATO issued 3-way shovel, pick and close combat weapon, has surged in popularity amongst British frontline troops as the piece of kit you can't...

The Government have announced that a whale that has been found dead beside the River Thames was a Russian spy. The whale was found beside Battersea Bridge yesterday afternoon. One Government source told us, "We...

Nuclear weapons all over the world are today looking forward to their upcoming launch as an opportunity to stretch their legs.  With launch codes about to be given to President Fuckface Von Clownstick, many weapons...

Details are sketchy at present but apparently the Lockheed Martin Trident Vote after party was absolutely "off the hook". We can only imagine what kind of party you might throw for 472 of your closest...

Sources at Number 10 today denied that there was any connection between elements of Theresa May's new industrial strategy and the colossal Trident balls-up she tried to cover up. Today's green paper contains a promise...

France has declared 3 days of National holidays after a "hero" sniper accidentally injured two people who were moving cases of Evian at an event featuring President Francois Hollande. The shot was fired from a...

Speaking at the Nato summit in Warsaw this week, David Cameron has hinted that almost £16bn ear-marked for the renewal of the Trident nuclear weapons system may be redirected to Niantic, the company behind...

Following the disastrous US missile strike in Syria yesterday which claimed the lives of 57 civilians including 11 children, teenagers and young adults around the world have taken to social media in their hundreds...

There are fears a Beluga Whale spotted swimming in the River Thames may be a Russian spy. The whale was spotted earlier this week and it was thought it may be lost but there...

Today Marine B was quietly reflecting on the time he shot a badly wounded prisoner of war in Helmand. No one else ever heard about it because he remembered not to fucking film it. It's not...

WikiLeaks revelations that GCHQ has hacked into Samsung smart TV sets to turn them into listening devices has revealed some fascinating facts impacting on national security. A GCHQ spokesman said that operation Weeping Angel has...

UKIP party leader, former archbishop of Canterbury, Duke of Edinburgh in Waiting and Huddersfield Town striker, Paul Nuttall has been named as the captain of the UK's waterboarding team for the 2020...

Theresa May has announced that the UK will be leaving the Eurofighter Programme immediately. BAE Systems will be closing its Eurofighter factory in the North West with the loss of 2,000 jobs the firm...

A globally devastating nuclear war could prove to be a massive boost for post Brexit British industry, the UK's Secretary of State for International Trade, former Secretary of State for Defence, and enthusiastic poultry...