Local News

German shoppers are disappointed that they have nowhere to buy lots of pointless tat in the run up to Christmas.  With every British town apparently having a German Christmas market now, Germans are wondering where...

A Rochdale man has explained what happened when, on a whim, he decided to buy his wife an ironing board for her birthday and thought he had best ask which colour she would prefer. Speaking...

A seven-year-old boy from Rochdale who had been "living life entirely as a Tory" has been taken from his mother's care following a High Court judge's ruling. Mr Justice Borlax said the mother had caused...

Hip new fashy fashion hits Brownhill School All the coolest kids in Brownhill School, Rochdale, have adopted it.  “Yeah well, Harvey Weinstein was a Democrat so ner,” is the new top riposte in their ongoing battle...

Rochdale’s Council have declared their bi-monthly bin collections a “massive success” and a “victory for recycling” by Labour Mayor Johnny Pork.

A drunk driver that crashed his car into a tree on Saturday night has told us the tree caused the accident. A police spokesman said, "We were called to a report of a man having...

A Rochdale based psychic has won the Euromillions lottery for the sixth week running. In an interview conducted 7 weeks ago Psychic Islet told us, "I've always been able to see into the future. Every...

An argument over the name of a baked bread product that is traditionally cut in twain and filled with goodness like chips, bacon or sausage has been raging accross British counties since the dawn...

A 27 year old woman was arrested and briefly detained by South Yorkshire Police after a Thomson  Airways cabin staff member spotted her reading a book while being brown. Faizah Shaheen, who helps prevent teenage mental...

In a world first a northern man has put a teabag into the bin without first putting it into the sink for a few hours. Northerner Steve Dickinson was making a mug of tea when...

Shock revelations have shaken Rochdale to its very core as documents from the cold war have been declassified, revealing that the 7 sisters were a nuclear missile launch site throughout the 70's and 80's,...

Cannabis plants have been uncovered at 'Bright Horizons' home for the elderly, Kirkholt, this morning. Police describe the haul as a kick in the teeth for old timer Jack Jacobs aka 'Dentures'. One eye witness...

A church in Rochdale has issued an apology and removed two donkeys from it's nativity scene following an incident yesterday involving one of the cast. Following complaints from animal rights campaigners who likened the scene...

In a bizarre turn of events at Rochdale's number one marital aid retailer, Coxfam, a robbery was foiled when a masked intruder was beaten off with a premium sex toy. The attacker forced his way...

Two of Rochdale's well known top secret spies were today recovering in Specsavers after local man, Fred Higglesworth, exposed himself after drinking ten pints of Carling. Higglesworth, described in court as being of no fixed...

The growing trend for eateries to use ridiculous items to serve your food on is now becoming a serious issue as local pottery firm closes its doors for good. "Rochdale Pots & Plates" has been...