Trump says he misspoke when he said Stalin was an excellent strong leader

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Donald Trump has said that he misspoke when he described Joseph Stalin as an excellent strong leader. Trump was replying to reporters who sought clarification after Russian sources said Trump had compared Putin favorably to...

Melania puts down deposit on $80 million one bedroom flat in Paris

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The First Lady of the US has reportedly put an undisclosed deposit down on a small one bedroom flat worth $80,000,000 in the centre of Paris earlier today. Eyebrows were raised as the news was...

Potential asylum seekers now to be meme tested

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Following public outcry, The Home Office have announced new measures to establish the age of refugees.  Many Brits are shocked that someone who has had their home blown to smithereens might be so desperate as...

May gives Nigerian Prince sort code, account number and PIN in trade negotiations

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Theresa May has given her sort code, pin number and bank account number to a Nigerian Prince she's met whilst negotiating trade. The exchange came earlier today when May met Prince Muttasim Billah Gadaffi in...

Scotch and Revolver sales jump 30,000% during Trump’s inaugural speech

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Scotch Whiskey and revolver salesman all over the world are in buoyant mood this afternoon after a huge windfall sales extravaganza during President Trump's inaugural address.

President Trump recorded offering Mike Pence presidency in exchange for Trump family pardon ticket

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Leaked recordings of President Trump phoning vice president Mike Pence from a golf course appear to reveal the sitting president has offered Pence the presidency in exchange for a family pardon ticket. With the net...

Crack pot dictator arrives in Singapore to meet Kim Jong Un

Singapore: Crack-pot dictator and wannabe dictator Donald Trump has arrived in Singapore to meet crack-pot dictator Kim Jong Un. It's hoped that the pair may bond over their joint hatred of Canadian PM, Justin Trudeau....

Kim Jong Un claims he is six months away from being able to launch...

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In a further act of provocation, North Korea says it has conducted yet another controversial social message test. The claim was bellowed out over the regime's single television channel by an announcer, standing without a...

Obama speech on Trump: untwist your knickers, it’ll be alright

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Soon to be former-president, Barrack "Bazzer" Obama has said that nobody ever said that democracy was supposed to be easy and "it's harder than a priest in a daycare centre," in an attempt to...

Donald Trump to lift Muslim ban ‘with immediate effect’ after learning of Manchester protests

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The new President's controversial Muslim ban has caused outrage across the globe and chaos in airports all across the US. Last night thousands of protesters gathered in central Manchester, joining many others in major cities...

Kavanaugh to celebrate Supreme Court confirmation with White House keg party

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Newly-appointed Supreme Court Justice Brett Kavanaugh will celebrate his confirmation later today by throwing a massive kegger at the White House, sources have confirmed.   Kavanaugh, whose nomination was mired by allegations of drunken impropriety during his college...

Assad regime toppled after receiving strongly worded letter from Jeremy Corbyn

Jeremy Corbyn has issued a strongly worded letter to Bashar al-Assad today. It seems it's had some effect as the regime has been toppled. Jamal al-Hummus, spokesman for the Syrian Government said, "The letter came...

Donald Trump tests positive for IQ-19

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Despite being the healthiest individual ever elected to the Presidency, reports are emerging that Donald Trump has tested positive for IQ-19. Harold Bornstein, Trump's former personal physician told the Herald. "I can confirm rumors that...

Online petition to impeach Trump gets 6 billion signatures in 24 hours

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An online petition requesting that Donald Trump be removed from office has got 6 billion signatures from around the world within 24 hours of its being set up. The petition on change.org was started by...

Intrepid British journalists discover tribe of foreigners who don’t let each other die in...

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The British media world was stunned today by the discovery of a tribe of non-British humans who actually attempt to save each other after natural disasters. To listen to the thrilled and condescending tones of...

Pope meets Bono to demand he removes U2’s albums from his iTunes account

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Pope Francis is to have a private audience with Bono to demand to know how to delete U2's latest album from his iTunes library. According to a Vatican official, "The Holy Father was preparing the...
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