International News

Swimmer and US gold medal winning bullshitter, Ryan Lochte, has sort of apologised for making things up. The lying git said that his description of being a drunken arsehole, pissing in public, smashing doors...

President Donald J. Trump will keep his promise not to come in the world’s mouth and insisted he would squirt his emissions onto the neck and face instead. “Melania hates the taste of my goodly...

In a documentary about the life and death of Freddie Mercury, which recently aired on the biffer TV network, Channel 5, it was pointed out that the legendary Queen frontman, whose birth name was Farrokh...

Donald Trump has announced he intends to visit areas of Texas affected by flooding just as soon as the cleaning operation on Texan golf courses is complete. In a tweet Trump said, "Wow. Just had confirmation...

The Foreign Aid budget is a waste of money according to arseholes in the U.K. Who throw out more food every year than they eat. "It's a discrace." Chardonnay Splatt, 22, told The Herald. "I...

Parisian fire fighters are currently battling a roaring fire at the Notre Dame cathedral. The fire has caused one of the medieval spires and a large section of the gothic roof to collapse. Early reports suggest...

The producers of the James Bond movie franchise are said to be absolutely over the moon about Vladimir Putin's recent decision to reboot the Cold War.

White House officials were said to be furious today after Trump supporters burned a cross on the South Lawn last night. The BBQ, which was part of a series of cultural events showcasing the rich...

Thousands of Republican voters suffered serious head injuries yesterday after face palming themselves really hard during a Trump Rally.

After months of denying that 'Brexit' could be defined in terms of anything other than being 'Brexit', the Government has finally announced what, in detail, the term means.  Deputy Minister for Brexitty Things, Raymond Sister...

President-elect Donald J Trump has announced a groundbreaking and cutting edge technology to combat the growing menace of conspiracies facing the US. He is well known for saying that global warming is a scam perpetrated...

A Rochdale couple have told the Herald that their son's release from jail in America is the best present they could have hoped for. Percy Cuted was jailed in 2011 after wishing some Americans "Merry...

After a record low of zero days in the job, the new UN Ambassador, whose job it would've been to generally spread love and harmony all over the place has been given the right...

US President Donald Trump is to celebrate his second Father's Day in the White House by having a bath filled with the tears of children forcefully separated from their parents at the US-Mexico border. According to White...

Rescue divers searching for a viable plan for a customs union palatable to lunatic backbench MPs have finally called off the search. Having plumbed the depths of some of the deepest caves in Europe and...

President Donald Trump has apparently just signed a new executive order making it compulsory for American citizens to carry guns about them at all times, the Rochdale Herald has learned. At a press conference, he...