Too soon since last mass shooting and not long enough before next one to...

0
In the wake of the latest mass shooting in a bar in Ohio that has claimed the lives of at least 9 people The White House has released a statement saying it's "too soon since...

Donald Trump hires Hugo Boss to design new ‘Cabinet Uniform’

5
The controversial decision to hire Hugo Boss was openly discussed by The President-elect, Donald J. Trump, on Good Morning America yesterday during a catwalk segment. When asked about his favourite clothing label, Mr. Trump, apparently...

Trump to sue publisher of Fire and Fury when Sarah Huckabee finishes reading it...

0
Washington DC - Donald Trump has angrily announced that he intends to sue the publisher of The White House tell all book, Fire and Fury: Inside the Trump White House, just as soon Sarah...

Trump rally cancels book burning as supporters have no books to burn

12
Plans for an official book burning at a Trump rally in Bumshart California had to be scrapped yesterday after it emerged Trump supporters in the state own no books. The book bonfire was to be...

Thoughts and prayers shortages in US reaching crisis point

0
Shortages of thoughts and prayers for the victims of gun violence is said to be reaching crisis point this morning with many dead people in El Paso yet to receive them. Vital supplies of platitudes...

Trump’s Wall to be Made Out of Thoughts and Prayers

0
The latest twist in the ongoing farcical shitshow that is the US President's attempt to build an completely pointless wall simply because he said he would, in order to trick idiots into voting for...

The NRA are a bunch of arseholes and each and every one of them...

0
But ma guns. A survey in 2013 found that the United States had 88.9 firearms for every 100 people. More than Yemen, Mexico, Pakistan and the West Bank/Gaza combined. Even Latin American countries over run...

Trump enlists Gary Glitter to play inauguration

0
There are reports that Donald Trump is struggling to find top acts to perform or present at his inaugural event. The demagogue was able to confound the polls by attracting the popular vote of those...

Trump University launches alternative science course

0
Donald Trump has announced the launch of a new science course that will be taught at Trump University from September. The course will feature subject matter not covered in more traditional science courses and will be aimed...

Donald Trump’s penis not bigger than Kim Jong Un’s, confirms Ivanka Trump

0
Sources close to the President have confirmed that Donald Trump's willy is not bigger than Kim Jong Un's. It is being reported around the world in the mainstream media that top White House aide Ivanka...

Americans forced to drink milkshakes through AR-15 assault rifles after plastic straw ban hits...

0
The unjust plastic straw ban threatens the American way of life, but citizens are finding an innovative way to beat the ban.   Consuming tens of thousands of calories a day is as American as a...

Robert E Lee statue replaced by bronze of obese man on mobility scooter holding...

2
“How would you stage a cavalry charge with a bunch of trucks?” Prof A Lither of Charlottesville wanted to know. “You’d have whiny little left wing cuckold snowflake hippy vegetarians complaining about the damage to the grass before you so much as made it across the field and into the unarmed ranks of the alt-left fanatics.

Trump’s view on border wall evolves after learning the word ‘ladder’

8
Donald Trump has sensationally dropped his controversial border wall plan, a key election promise, after seeing one of his Mexican labourers use a ladder for the first time.

Trump travel ban extends to Narnia

17
President Donald Trump last night signed an Executive Order adding Narnia to the travel ban and immediately excluding "followers of Aslan" from entering the US. This will instantly affect talking beavers, centaurs and particularly ice...

Trump nothing like Hitler. Hitler wasn’t fat and bald say experts

0
Historian's have said that Donald Trump is nothing like Hitler as Hitler wasn't fat and bald. Stan Still said, "A lot of people have been saying that Donald Trump is like Hitler. His attempts to...

If it wasn’t for these pesky bone spurs I’d have stopped shooter myself, says...

0
Actual real-life President of the United States Donald Trump told a press conference earlier today that if it wasn't for the debilitating bone spurs in his heels he would have personally prevented the massacre...
Exit mobile version