America

In the wake of the latest mass shooting in a school in Florida that has claimed the lives of at least 14 people The White House has released a statement saying it's "too soon since the...

Donald Trump is blaming pretty much everything for his sudden lack of a sex-life, it has emerged. Sources close to the president have informed the Rochdale Herald that recently he and his wife Melania visited...

The so-called President of a country that lists shooting children at school amongst its most popular hobbies has told the UK Prime Minster to mind her own business because "we are doing just fine." The...

The White House's official 2017 Christmas card will feature President Donald Trump high-fiving the Imperial Wizard of the Ku Klux Klan, a spokesperson confirmed today. Bearing the message, "We're dreaming of a white Christmas," the...

Donald Trump hit a new low today by disembowelling a newborn baby and eating her still beating heart like an apple after she interrupted him during a speech at a rally. The esteemed political philosopher...

NASA has announced it will hold a press conference later this week to reveal new discoveries "of significant importance, "beyond our solar system". The agency gave no further details however unofficial sources have suggested that the...

In preparation for his inauguration ceremony, President elect Trump has commissioned Fabergé, the esteemed and historic jewellery makers to the Russian emperors, to craft him the "biggliest and most expensive selfie stick in the...

Donald Trump has insisted that the audience for Sean Spicers resignation speech will be miniscule compared to his own. Trump tweeted that, "Spicer was a great guy. I'll miss seeing him on Saturday Night Live....

Following the sad and untimely death of Gunnery Sergeant Hartman of the US Marine Corps, The Rochdale Herald has obtained an exclusive transcript of a meeting between a young Donald Trump and the drill...

US President Donald Trump Thursday attempted to cement US-Polish relations in a speech delivered in the Polish capital Warsaw on the first day of a four day European tour. Speaking in front of a large...

Americans were rocked to the core today to find that it was possible to resolve a dispute without gunfire. Chuck Henderson, a 7-Eleven employee from Milwaukee, was live streaming himself closing his store for the...

Scientists have today confirmed that, President of the United States, Donald Trump is inflating at an alarming rate. On his Inauguration Day on 20th January 2017 Trump’s circumference was approximately 50 inches. Last night...

Despite being the healthiest individual ever elected to the Presidency, reports are emerging that Donald Trump has tested positive for IQ-19. Harold Bornstein, Trump's former personal physician told the Herald. "I can confirm rumors that...

President Donald Trump has apparently just signed a new executive order making it compulsory for American citizens to carry guns about them at all times, the Rochdale Herald has learned. At a press conference, he...

In a shock announcement, the Founding Editor of this esteemed organ has declared it will be withdrawing from future coverage of the current White House administration. Quentin D. Fortesqueue explained, "The purpose of the Rochdale Herald is...