The Daily Mail is aiming to eradicate all racism by 2080 it has announced.

Building on its highly successful campaign against anti-Semitism in the Labour Party, The Daily Mail has announced a campaign to eradicate all forms of racism across the UK.

“Once we started looking, we found racism everywhere,” said Dorothy Gale, their spokesperson. “Muslim women being compared to post boxes, immigrants described as “cockroaches”, over-reporting of black crime, mainstream parties making political alliances with Holocaust deniers – this kind of behaviour has no place in modern Britain.”

“We will not rest until all racism has been wiped out”